Sarper and Shekinah seem to have reached a breaking point.
On the May 4 episode of 90 Day Fiancé, the couple sat down for a conversation after an explosive argument left them questioning if their relationship would last. With just two months left on Sarper’s fiancé visa, he began to worry that he and Shekinah were not ready for marriage.
“We cannot keep living this way,” he told cameras. “We have to solve it. We have to break up, or we have to get well again. Nothing in between.”
When Sarper pointed out that there were also fundamental issues in their relationship, Shekinah understood how he felt, but said she shouldn’t be “punished” for something she can’t control.
“You don’t like me anymore, are you aware of this?” Sarper then asked.
“I don’t like the Sarper that you’ve been showing me lately,” Shekinah conceded, calling him “distant, cold, rude [and] dismissive.”
“I was in depression!” he defended himself. “But you know what, I cannot recognize you, Shekinah. This is not the girl that I met in Turkey.”
“Oh my God, you’re so dramatic,” she snapped, but he insisted: “I’m not dramatic, I’m just real.”
“She was obsessed with me when we were in Turkey,” Sarper claimed in his confessional. “I mean, she was listening to me a lot more. Right now, I mean, that harsh tone, she barely used that. In Turkey we had small problems, but here everything changed.”
Shekinah, however, said their location is not the reason for her behavior. “The version of me that you get depends on how you treat me. And how you’ve been treating me the past few days is the reason why you’re seeing this face now, and you’re hearing this voice now. It’s because of you. So it’s a choice that you make.”
“I didn’t make any choice,” he interjected.
“You made a series of choices that have put us in a bad situation now, where I don’t even know if I want to get married,” Shekinah revealed.
Acknowledging that Sarper was “uprooted” when he moved to Los Angeles, Shekinah maintained that she was “not going to put up” with him “taking his frustrations out on me.”
“You’re being super reckless with our relationship,” she told him, to which he responded: “You know that if we break up, you will cry for years for me. I know you. I am the most perfect match for you.”
This comment, however, only made Shekinah more upset. “Are you kidding me? I’m not some helpless woman that can’t survive without you or that’s going to cry for years. Give me a break.”
Despite their differing personalities, Sarper said his “connection” with Shekinah is “the thing that keeps us together.”
“She is my soulmate,” he added. “Like a puzzle piece, we are completing each other, but right now it’s totally different. She’s not listening to me, she is not hearing me. She doesn’t do anything I want. I mean, everything is f—– up. Everything is so messy, and I don’t know how to solve it.”
Sarper went on to tell Shekinah that being around her “is like walking on eggshells,” so she told him, “if it’s too hard, then leave.”
“Wow, a threat,” he said. “That’s not a threat,” she quipped. “That’s an out. If you can’t handle it, then no one’s forcing you to stay.”
Later in the episode, Sarper was at a loss for words, claiming there was nothing he could say that would be good enough for Shekinah.
“I guess that tells me everything I need to know,” she replied. “The man that I’m with doesn’t know what I need to hear in this moment. He doesn’t know what to say. He doesn’t know how to behave. He doesn’t know how to treat me right. He doesn’t know how to listen to me.”
When Sarper accused Shekinah of having “no compromising skills” and not doing anything to “fix” their issues, she said it wasn’t her responsibility to do so.
“When Shekinah came to Turkey, my home was hers more than mine,” he said. “And my family treated her just like their own daughters. That’s why she doesn’t understand what I’m going through right now. I sacrificed a lot of things to be here in [the] U.S. with her, and when she’s mad and upset, she only she thinks of herself, and she doesn’t see any of this.”
At a standstill, Sarper decided to profess his love to Shekinah: “I don’t want to f—— lose this relationship. That’s the only thing. Because this is one in a million and I won’t catch it anymore if I break up with you.”
“I mean, I’m sitting here thinking I could find a relationship better than this,” she declared. “Why aren’t you sitting here telling me you’re sorry?”
“I always say [it], every day,” Sarper replied, making Shekinah realize that “we’re not getting anywhere.”
“It’s bad for my mental health to keep going around the circle with you,” she said as she left the room. “Come back when you have something better to say, because this is pointless.”
“That was a huge decision for me to make, to go from never wanting to be married to agreeing to marry someone,” Shekinah confessed. “And now this is what he’s showing me. I just feel foolish, and I feel like I should have just stuck with what I originally wanted, which was to never get married.”
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90 Day Fiancé airs Sundays at 8 p.m. ET on TLC.
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