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- A mom says she is “utterly disgusted” with how another woman treated her after a recent “moms night out”
- The woman — who shared her story on a community forum — said she ended up feeling “excluded and invisible” during the evening, and ultimately shared her feelings with another mom
- The woman said that instead of showing her sympathy, the other woman responded “aggressively” and told her she had “issues”
A woman said she is “disgusted” by how another mom treated her after a recent night out.
The woman detailed her story in a forum on the U.K.-based community site Mumsnet.com, a place where women can go to get advice from other parents on a variety of topics. In her post, titled “Moms night out, feeling excluded from the clique,” the woman said that she recently went out with some moms in her area.
“I feel somewhat sensitive and a little pressure to try to form friendships locally, as my child has special needs and moved to a new school out of the area,” she explained.
However, she said that the evening didn’t go as she had hoped.
“I felt totally excluded,” she said. “No one really asked me anything about me, and the whole evening was spent feeling excluded and invisible.”
She added, “I found the dynamic difficult.”
The original poster (OP) said that at the end of the evening, one of the other moms asked her how her night had gone, and the OP said she “told her the truth,” telling the other woman that she “largely felt excluded as everyone knows each other better.”
The OP said that the other mom “responded fairly aggressively” to her honest comment. She then said that she has since received a message from the other woman letting her know that she “won’t make my child’s birthday party” and that the woman “implied I had issues to resolve.”
“I feel utterly disgusted,” the OP added. “I thought I would get some compassion and there would be some understanding that a new mom [might] find it hard to enter an already formed friendship group.”
“I’m happy to end the connection with her, but worried she will now influence the rest of the group and other moms to break off contact with me,” the OP said.
“Is this normal? Is this awful mom behavior? Or am I in the wrong somewhere?” the woman asked at the end of her post, before admitting, “I regret being honest.”
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The majority of post commenters said that they thought both parties were somewhat to blame in the situation. Many said that they thought the other mom was wrong to skip a child’s birthday party, while also saying that the OP may have come off as rude.
“I doubt anyone was purposefully excluding you on the night out,” one person said.
The same person added, “People just gravitate to what’s most comfortable, [and] that is chatting to the person next to them that they already know … It was a bit accusatory of you to say you weren’t made to feel welcome, as it implies people were actively making you feel unwelcome. And [the other woman], in that moment, [was] making an effort to chat to you!”
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“It takes time to get to know people,” said someone else. “You weren’t ‘in’ on many things as you don’t know the group. Surely over time you would be? Making new friends takes effort and time.”
Another person said, “You were quite rude to say that — what was she supposed to say or do? I wouldn’t have canceled the party, but I wouldn’t be extending invitations to another evening out.”
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