NEED TO KNOW
- A woman said she wants to ask her brother to move out of her house — but she doesn’t know how to “politely” raise the topic
- She said her brother has been staying with her weeks longer than he was supposed to, and he doesn’t appear to be looking for his own place
- The woman shared her story on an online forum, where commenters said she needs to toughen up and set a boundary
A woman says she doesn’t know how to tell her brother that he needs to move out of her house, and she’s asking the Internet for advice.
The woman detailed her story in a forum on the U.K.-based community site Mumsnet.com, a place where women can go to seek advice about interpersonal issues. In her post, the woman said that her brother recently needed to move out of a shared roommate situation.
“There were problems with the room, the bathroom wasn’t working […] and he didn’t want to stay another month. I suspect he couldn’t afford it. He’s terrible with money!” she explained.
The original poster (OP) said that she told her brother he could stay with her and her daughter, and he agreed, telling her he would only be there “for a week.”
“I gave him [my daughter’s] room while she sleeps with me,” she added.
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However, the OP went on to say that it’s been “almost two months,” and her brother is still living with them. She also said that he’s only viewed one potential living space in the entire time he’s been there, and that he recently cut his hours at work.
“He hasn’t contributed a single penny — not even bought a loaf of bread or made any gesture whatsoever,” she said, adding, “On top of that, last week, he told me he was [short on cash] and asked me to lend him money for gas […].”
She continued, “My [daughter] will be going back to school next month, and she really needs her room back. I’m not sure how to bring up the subject with him.”
“I’m a newly single mom going through a divorce and paying for everything on my own; it’s already hard enough without taking on the responsibility of another adult,” she added.
“How can I raise this topic politely and in a non-confrontational way?” the OP asked at the end of her post.
The vast majority of Mumsnet users said that the OP needed to show some tough love — and put the needs of her daughter over her adult brother.
“You need to be blunt and put your child first. Remove his stuff from her bedroom while he is at work. Today, if possible,” one person said.
“So your daughter suffers because you’re too mealy-mouthed to say anything? Her back-to-school is the perfect reason for him to move. Stop making his life so comfortable at her expense,” said another person.
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“You sound very kind, but he’s not your problem and you really shouldn’t have offered him a room in the first place. It seems like you have enough going on already. Give him a week to be out and help him pack,” suggested someone else.
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