Sheinelle Jones Gets Candid About Her Journey with Grief: ‘Every Day Is Like Swimming Through Mud’ (Exclusive)

Sheinelle Jones has a new superpower.

In the wake of her husband Uche Ojeh’s death in May, the Today with Jenna & Sheinelle host, 47, finds herself overflowing with compassion and an ability to connect.

“I have been changed in a good way, too, because of what’s happened to me. I’m not afraid of anyone — I’ll talk to anyone — and we can have a conversation because I’ve been through the worst,” she tells PEOPLE in this week’s cover story. “Now, I’m leaning into fighting for my joy and connecting with people and squeezing the most I can out of life. And I want to see my kids see me do that so that they do the same.”

Ojeh, who died at age 45, was Jones’ college sweetheart, a lifelong athlete and father to their three children, son Kayin, 16, and twins Clara and Uche Jr., 13. Nine months after his death, Jones admits her grief is still “excruciating.”

“People see me on TV, and they think, ‘Oh, she’s better.’ It’s like, ‘Oh no, no. I’m not better.’ Every day is like swimming through mud,” says Jones, who first returned to the network in September after a leave of absence she began in December 2024. “I’ve had to really do the work. Empathy is my superpower now, and I recognize that I hold two things: I hold my grief, and I also hold this joy. I said it months ago, and I’ll say it now: I am fighting for my joy.” 

Having her dream job is a cornerstone of that joy. But before kicking off Today with Jenna & Sheinelle on Monday, Jan. 12, Jones shares that she deeply contemplated the decision.

“I really put a lot of thought into it because I knew it would be change for me. And I was like, ‘Can I handle the change?’ And now I’m like, ‘Not only can I handle the change, but it’s easier now because I don’t feel like I’m not doing it for me,'” she shares. “I feel like I’m doing it for the woman or the man or the teenager who picks up PEOPLE magazine and they read my story and they’re grieving or they’re holding space for something. I completely underestimated the amount of pain and grief or just stuff that people are holding.”

She continues, “People want to give up. Sometimes I want to give up, but I feel like if you can turn on [the TV] and not only see me doing it, but see me winning? See me get new opportunities and conquer them and hit this market in a way that I don’t think we’ve seen? I think there’s a void for two kick-ass girls to have sisterhood and laugh one moment, cry the next, talk about our kids, talk about our parents. I can’t wait. And I’m so excited now that I’ve allowed myself to go ahead and feel it and say, ‘You know what? We’re going to rock it.'”

Bush Hager shares her friend’s sentiment. She says she can exhale, knowing Jones will be sitting beside her.

“I’m witnessing Sheinelle do this so effortlessly, and I know it’s not. I know it’s actually really hard, but she’s doing it,” says Bush Hager. “And she’s really such a reminder to all of us that joy and heartbreak can be held at the same time and that we have to find moments of joy and celebration even in darkness.”

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As Jones and her family forge ahead, she is resolute in her belief that they’re going to make it through.

“Being a single mom is really hard, but I’m proud of my kids for how we’re managing,” she says. “When I hear my kids laugh, I know they’re going to be okay. There’s joy there. And for me, going back to work, with all of those people surrounding me, I feel safe and loved, and I don’t have to pretend. My joy is real.”

For more on Jones, pick up the new issue of PEOPLE on stands Friday.