Nearly four years after The Bachelor fans first witnessed the beginning of Matt James and Rachael Kirkconnell’s love story, the couple have gone their separate ways.
The pair first met when season 25 of the ABC reality dating show began filming in September 2020. James, who was the leading man, expressed his interest in Kirkconnell as early as night one, when he said that she is “beautiful, articulate, she’s sexy and she’s being open and vulnerable.”
After dating dozens of women throughout the course of the season, James presented Kirkconnell with his final rose. Although they didn’t get engaged, they left the show as a couple — albeit temporarily.
During the “After the Final Rose” episode special, the pair revealed that they had separated following controversial photos from Kirkconnell’s past emerging online. Despite this, they reconciled in the spring of 2021 and remained together for years — until James shocked fans by announcing their breakup on Jan. 16.
While neither James nor Kirkconnell initially shared any additional details about the split, Kirkconnell denied rumors of infidelity when she was approached by TMZ ahead of her appearance on the Call Her Daddy podcast on Jan. 28.
“Things will start to come out and I’ll speak about it whenever I’m ready. But for now, I’m just protecting my peace,” she said.
So, why did Matt James and Rachael Kirkconnell break up? Here’s everything we know so far about the former Bachelor couple’s ups and downs.
Kirkconnell received James’ final rose on The Bachelor
During their time on The Bachelor, the pair each expressed their deep feelings for one another, with Kirkconnell telling James at one point, “I feel like I’ve been searching for what feels like my whole life for this and now I feel like I finally found it.”
She continued, “The only worry is that I just don’t get you at the end of this.”
“Where I’m at with you is, when I’m not around you, I’m thinking about you,” he reassured her. “And you just make me smile.”
The season concluded with James sending runner-up contestant Michelle Young home and choosing to forgo a proposal.
But James didn’t leave the show by himself. Instead, he told Kirkconnell, “When I think about the life I want to live, I think about living that life with you. And I want to leave here with you. And I want to commit to you and to every day moving on, what we started here. And the truth is that I love you.”
He gave Kirkconnell the final rose, and they left the show together as a couple.
They split before the show finished airing
While the season was airing, Kirkconnell’s old social media posts that included racially insensitive behavior — including attending an antebellum-themed party in college — began surfacing online. She issued an apology on Instagram in February 2021 in which she wrote that she was “learning and will continue to learn how to be antiracist” and wanted to be “held accountable for my actions.”
The next month, during the “After the Final Rose” episode special, Kirkconnell and James revealed that they had split.
James explained that he realized Kirkconnell “might not understand what it means to be Black in America” and wanted to “take a step back and allow her to put in that work.”
Following the episode, Kirkconnell shared an Instagram post about her time on the show, writing, “while i never expected this outcome, i respect his decision completely.”
“i truly believe he was the love of my life,” she added. “he will always hold a piece of my heart. i’ll always be hopeful and believe what’s meant to be will be.”
They got back together in the spring of 2021 — and James said what they went through prepared them for the “future”
After some time apart, the pair rekindled their romance a few months later.
“Everything we’ve been through, everything she’s been through, she’s stuck right by my side,” James said during an appearance on the Pomp podcast that May. “She’s continued to have a positive attitude towards everything. It’s one of the many things I love about her.”
A year later, James further reflected on their breakup to PEOPLE saying that what they went through together “prepared us for our future.”
“It was crazy,” James said. “It felt like the world was against us. Some people felt like the situation was blown out of proportion and others felt like it hadn’t gotten enough attention. We were just trying to enjoy each other and grow our relationship without having to deal with people we didn’t even know weighing in.”
Although he was keen on not rushing things based on a reality TV timeline, James opened up to PEOPLE in February 2024 about being aligned with Kirkconnell about their plans to tie the knot — and said he was “excited for what the future looks like.”
“We wouldn’t be together if that wasn’t the same goal,” he said, adding that when it came time to propose, it would “be something special because Rachael’s very special.”
They have been open about the challenges of dating in the spotlight
During a July 2024 Q&A episode on James’ YouTube channel, Kirkconnell explained that the most challenging part of their relationship is “having a lot of outside eyes on our relationship.”
“Trying to keep the peace and protect our relationship just within one another and not let that outside noise and people just looking in from the outside and giving their opinion even when it wasn’t asked for,” she said. “People just trying to tell us what to do and how to live.”
Kirkconnell added that, in the beginning, she would let the “outside noise” get to her, but she had since stopped letting it bother her.
James agreed, adding that the “biggest challenge” has been the “outside perception of how we should be going about our relationship.”
“You see stuff happen like, couples in our similar situation who are engaged end up breaking it off or calling it off because they rushed things or were doing things to appease other people,” he added. “No shots fired … respectfully.”
They traveled the world (and ate a lot of food) together
While their time on the show was marked by group dates and rose ceremonies, James and Kirkconnell’s relationship post-Bachelor consisted of trips around the world and many meals shared.
James began sharing clips of them trying restaurants around the world (and listing everything they ate) — including sushi in London, burgers in Los Angeles, dumplings in Tokyo and lobster rolls in St. Tropez, France.
They’ve also taken trips to Disneyland in Paris, Tokyo and California — and shared food guides from each of those visits.
In November 2022, James shared photos on Instagram of him and Kirkconnell eating, captioned, “our love language.”
They broke up in January 2025
On Jan. 16, James announced in an Instagram post that he and Kirkconnell had split after four years together (and just one day after he had shared a clip of them together in London).
“Father God, give Rachael and I strength to mend our broken hearts,” he wrote. “Give us a peace about this decision to end our relationship that transcends worldly understanding. Shower our friends and family with kindness and love to comfort us. And remind us that our Joy comes from you, Lord 💔.”
In the days following the news of their split, Kirkconnell seemingly confirmed that she was blindsided by the end of their relationship after she liked comments on Instagram suggesting that was the case.
Meanwhile, the Instagram account Deuxmoi posted a fan-submitted sighting that claimed James and Kirkconnell were spotted together in New York City, leading to speculation that the two had reconciled.
However, Kirkconnell shut down the rumors in the comment section, writing, “hmm wasn’t me lol.”
A few days later, the influencer was approached by TMZ while at an airport, where she told the outlet that a breakup is “nothing you can prepare for, so yeah, you just take it one day at a time.” She also denied rumors of infidelity, though she confirmed that she was not planning on getting back together with the former Bachelor. “Yeah, we’re out,” she said.
“Things will start to come out and I’ll speak about it whenever I’m ready. But for now, I’m just protecting my peace,” Kirkconnell responded when asked what led to their split.
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