A man is in hot water with his girlfriend after an anniversary gift incident — but Redditors aren’t so sure he’s at fault.
The 40-year-old recently shared his story on Reddit’s popular “Am I the A——?” forum, where platform users go to seek advice on interpersonal conflicts.
The Reddit user says that he has been dating his girlfriend, Erin, 39, for a year and that they recently celebrated the anniversary of their first date.
“We exchanged gifts. She loved mine but I was kind of taken back when I opened mine,” he began his post.
He went on to share that Erin got them each a “lover’s eye” pendant, which he explains is “a very, very close up picture of your lover’s eye turned [into] a necklace.”
“I don’t like jewelry at all,” the original poster (OP) shared, adding that he has told his girlfriend this in the past.
He said that he thanked his girlfriend for the present and told her he would wear the necklace when at home — but clarified that he wouldn’t wear the piece outside or at work.
“She said I’m being an a——” the Redditor wrote before adding, “Honestly, it looks creepy. It’s weird to wear someone’s eye picture around your neck.”
He says his girlfriend has been “upset since then,” and he’s now wondering if he owes her an apology.
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“Is there a way to solve this problem without insulting her [gift?],” he concludes.
The majority of commenters voiced their support for the OP, with many saying that — if anything — his girlfriend was the one in the wrong in this situation.
“NTA [not the a——],” said one commenter, adding, “She either disregarded your feelings about jewelry or didn‘t remember them, both not great. Insisting you wear it and calling you names makes her the AH [a——].”
“NTA,” agreed another person. “Her gift doesn’t seem to consider your needs at all,” they added.
One person suggested a compromise: “Could you maybe recycle the necklace into a keychain? This way you carry it with you all day, every day, as well, and you don’t have to wear a piece of [jewelry] you don’t feel comfortable with.”
Others warned that the girlfriend’s reaction could indicate a potential red flag and advised the OP to watch out for other signs that she might not take his feelings and preferences into account.
“She definitely f’d up, but if this is out [of] character for her, empathy and understanding might help her and make your relationship stronger. If this is a recurring problem or escalating pattern of her not listening to you, trying to control you, belittling and ignoring your feelings, and not believing what you say, then it might be time to reconsider this relationship,” wrote one Reddit user.
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