A woman has confessed she’s considering cutting ties with a friend to avoid the woman’s “creepy” husband — but she’s unsure if she’s overreacting.
The woman recently detailed her experience in the “Am I Being Unreasonable” forum on Mumsnet, a UK-based online community where women can get input from other women about interpersonal dilemmas. The user began her post by explaining that she has a “mum friend” with whom she gets on well — but notes that “I just cannot stand her husband.”
She said the man makes both her and her family — as well as other people who have met him — “feel uncomfortable.”
“He’s just so odd. Creepy almost. He’s always there and I just always feel like I can’t be myself,” the original poster (OP) continued, adding that when she is able to spend time with her friend alone, it’s “lovely,” but “not very often.”
“Has anyone else had a similar scenario?” the OP asked before admitting that she feels like “cutting ties” and limiting her time with the friend to birthday parties and group events may be the only path forward.
Several commenters said they didn’t think the OP necessarily had to drop her friend completely and instead suggested that she politely but firmly invite the friend to activities that don’t include significant others.
“Keep in touch via text. [Invite] her to girls nights/ girls days. Make it very clear on [the invitation]. If he turns up refer to the fact it’s a girls day. If he protests then have a headache [and] cancel. Repeat,” wrote one person.
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“Could you not invite her round rather than visiting her and say something vague like you feel more comfortable in your own home, or you prefer seeing your friends without their other halves? She may get the message and start to open up about how she feels towards him,” suggested another.
Others, however, recommended a more straightforward approach to the situation.
“As it stands you’re going to drop her anyway, so I’d just tell her the truth as kindly as possible,” wrote one woman, adding, “Maybe she knows he’s a p—- and has been papering over the cracks and you’ll get to keep the friendship. If you say nothing the friendship is probably over regardless, so if she reacts negatively it doesn’t matter.”
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