Big Sean Admits He ‘Hit a Wall’ During ‘Very Deep Depression’ After Nipsey Hussle’s Death

The rapper told PEOPLE in 2020 that Hussle "was more like my brother"

NEED TO KNOW

• Big Sean is reflecting on his experience with depression and anxiety after the death of rapper Nipsey Hussle
• “It felt like I hit a wall, and I either had to climb over it or it was gonna fall on me and crush me,” he said
• Hussle was shot and killed in March 2019 at age 33

Big Sean is reflecting on his mental health journey. 

The rapper, born Sean Michael Leonard Anderson, spoke with ABC News broadcaster Linsey Davis about his experience with depression and anxiety after the death of Nipsey Hussle for the Monday, Feb. 16, episode of All Access. 

In the sitdown, Davis asked Sean, 37, how it felt to open up about a topic that is "very taboo in the Black community," per a clip shared by Rolling Stone.

"I was just sharing what was going on in my life," he said. "I didn’t realize that I was being so vulnerable. I wasn’t trying to be a spokesperson for mental health per se. I was just expressing how I was going into therapy and experiencing a time of heavy ups and downs, a time of depression."

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Sean detailed the moment in his life, saying, "It felt like I hit a wall, and I either had to climb over it or it was gonna fall on me and crush me."

He explained that his commitment to work led him to lose touch "with the person that I was."

"I think that led to a very deep battle of depression, deeper than I experienced when I was like a teenager," the rapper added.

As a result, the "Wolves" singer detailed his decision to take a break from the music industry to prioritize himself. "You got to be serious about having fun, because as fast as time goes, we’re here for a limited amount of time," he said, later adding, "I’m just happy to be here enjoying myself."

The rapper and Hussle were close friends and collaborators before Hussle was shot and killed in March 2019 at age 33. The next year, Sean released the song "Deep Reverence," which they previously recorded together. 

The rapper told PEOPLE in 2020 that Hussle "was more like my brother."

"I definitely learned a lot from him," he said of his late friend. "One of the things that hurt so bad about seeing Nipsey go, was that we saw a lot of our best qualities in him. We saw how much he cared about his people and his neighborhood, and how pro-Black business he was. He was about making his own way and being a boss."

That same year, Sean wrote in a social media thread that he experienced periods of wanting to "give up on my life."

"I don’t feel like this currently, but I had never gone through wanting to kill myself, give up on my life until the past few years and I didn’t realize how important it was to embrace the ups n downs of life and enjoy (in joy) taking active steps to better it," Sean wrote at the time.

"I thought doing what I loved would always make me happy and satisfied, so when I got tired of it, I was confused and it drove me insane," he added.

If you or someone you know needs mental health help, text "STRENGTH" to the Crisis Text Line at 741-741 to be connected to a certified crisis counselor.

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