A bride says she is feeling hurt and “completely embarrassed” after her mother gave a not-so-nice speech at her wedding.
In a post on Reddit’s “Wedding Shaming” forum, the 39-year-old bride shared that she and her husband recently got married and while it was an “incredible day,” she felt her mom “misunderstood the assignment” when it came to toasting the newlyweds with a speech.
“My mother only talked about key points in my life where I disappointed her or embarrassed her throughout my childhood and teen years, and one of the memories was particularly embarrassing — so embarrassing that I made sure she didn’t bring it up at my 21st [birthday] speech 18 years ago,” she explained.
“She never mentioned anything about my new husband or our relationship — she didn’t even welcome him into the family,” the bride continued. “She only talked about how much of an embarrassment I was as a child and even compared me to my older brother and sister who ‘never played up until after they left home.’ ”
Her mom’s speech left her feeling incredibly upset. “I cried for a whole day after the wedding over this. I’m extremely disappointed with her,” she said.
When the bride candidly told her mom that the speech hurt her feelings, “her response was that she made a mistake and didn’t know what she was saying or knew how to write a speech.” However, the bride noted, her mom managed to give very “heartfelt, warm and loving” speeches at her siblings’ weddings.
“She apologized a lot, but I don’t know if I can get past this because I feel so let down and hurt. She had only one chance to get it right, and she totally blew it,” the bride wrote, noting, “She also had this speech written down and prepared — it wasn’t off the cuff at all.”
The bride also pointed out that everyone she loves and respected was at the wedding — from friends and work colleagues to bosses and business associates — and she can’t help feeling mortified by what they heard in the speech. “I understand you can make a little bit of fun of the bride and groom, but not for the whole speech to be taking the piss!” she lamented.
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While the bride shared that her mom “is feeling really awful about how she let me down,” she said she isn’t sure if she can move past this, writing, “I’ve lost all respect for her.”
She even admitted she wants to “punish” her mom by “going low contact” with her — “but at the same time I don’t hate her, I just hate what she did.”
In the comments section, fellow Redditors sympathized with the bride’s disappointment over the speech and assured her that her mom’s behavior likely “appalled” her wedding guests as well.
“That sort of speech makes her look worse than you. Your guests weren’t thinking about embarrassing things you’d done; they were thinking, ‘God, her mom is a jerk.’ And that is the primary memory they will have of the speech,” one person wrote.
“I would NEVER imagine embarrassing anyone for laughs like that. It’s cruel. Your mother is cruel,” another chimed in.
Yet another Redditor commented: “Her speech was a reflection of her, not you. I PROMISE you, everyone in that room was embarrassed for HER, not you.”
Others encouraged the bride to not waste any more energy thinking about the speech and instead focus on the positive aspects of her wedding day.
“Feel your feelings, but this was less than 5-10 minutes of what I’m sure was a really special and beautiful day. Let the special parts of the day be the ones that imprint on your memories,” one commenter urged.
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