NEED TO KNOW
- A bride is seeking advice on Reddit about whether or not she can exclude one woman from her bridal party
- The bride explained that the woman is the girlfriend of her fiancé’s friend, and they don’t get along
- “Why would I want someone so negative celebrating the best part of my life,” the OP wrote
A bride is seeking out advice about her decisions surrounding her bridal party.
In a post on Reddit’s “AITA (Am I the A–hole)” forum, a 23-year-old woman is asking whether or not she has to include one woman in her bridal party.
The Reddit user explained that she and her fiancé, Eric, have been together for four years, including a one-year engagement. She explained that most of their “social circle comes from [her] fiancé’s friend group, who have all known each other since kindergarten.”
Within the group of friends, some of the men have girlfriends, including Eric’s friend, Tony. But it’s Tony’s girlfriend, “Alyssa” that the OP (original poster) doesn’t get along with, despite “genuinely” liking her when they first met.
“Over time she’s become…. A pick-me girl is the best way to describe it,” the post read. “Everything has to go her way, she constantly changes plans, and she contradicts everything I say. If I say red, she says blue.”
“I always do my best to socialize with her because I know this friendship is important to Eric,” the OP said.”
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As the OP continued, she remarked that the tensions began just before her engagement. “Eric told the friend group he was planning to propose. Everyone was excited except Tony, who said nothing, not even a congrats.”
The OP claimed that Alyssa told their friends that Eric was “forced” to propose, “he was ‘more fun’ before he met me, and that I ‘have him on a dog collar.'” The Reddit user explained that it “hurt” her adding, “I’ve always showed how much I love Eric and I trust my fiancé way too much to be toxic or jealous.”
Since the OP and Eric are “having a long engagement” and “not rushing wedding planning,” they’re taking their time, which has allowed for “more girlfriends have joined the friend group.” She wrote,
“They’re all super sweet, supportive, and we get along really well.”
The post continued with the OP explaining that the other women “already know this whole drama with Alyssa” and “some don’t like her” because she was “very rude” to them.
While some don’t like Alyssa, the OP said she “genuinely would love for all of them to be my bridesmaids…. Expect Alyssa.” Later adding, “Also don’t want to create drama in a friend group that isn’t technically ‘mine’ or for my fiancé to lose this friendship.”
“Why would I want someone so negative celebrating the best part of my life. I believe she crossed a line,” she wrote, before turning the question to the Reddit forum: “So would I be the asshole if I asked all the other girlfriends to be the bridesmaids but her?”
Several Reddit users replied, telling her she would “not be the a–hole.”
“NTA you definitely wouldn’t be the arsehole, but be prepared for the fallout and ask yourself how much extra drama you want at an already stressful time. Only you can answer that question,” one person wrote.
Another added: “Of course you’re NTA for only inviting who you want to your wedding, but I’d think your fiance’s input is much more important than anything you’re going to get from Reddit.”
While other users told her she is in the wrong, with one user commenting, “YTA. Be a grownup and have a serious conversation with Alyssa. You all sound like you’re in middle school instead of grown adults.”
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