NEED TO KNOW
- In a submission to Slate’s advice column “Dear Prudence,” a recent bride asked for help on how to get over her husband’s wedding lie, which was revealed during the best man’s toast at their reception
- The bride feels “extremely hurt” that the groom used ChatGPT to write his wedding vows instead of doing so by himself like he promised her
- In response, Slate’s editor-in-chief told the bride she was “overthinking” the issue and advised her to accept her husband’s apology because “his heart was in the right place”
A recent bride is afraid she might never get over her husband’s wedding lie.
In an anonymous submission to Slate’s advice column “Dear Prudence,” a bride detailed how the groom’s major secret was revealed at their wedding reception, and now she doesn’t know if she can ever trust him again.
“My husband is still apologizing, and while part of me wants to move on, another part of me can’t stop thinking about his dishonesty,” the bride wrote. “I’ve asked him whether he ever planned on telling me or if he would have taken that secret to the grave, and all he can tell me is that he ‘doesn’t know.’ ”
“I worry about what other things he might keep from me in the future,” she added.
After getting engaged, the couple of five years spent two years of “extensive wedding planning and preparation.” At the time, they both “agreed” they’d write their own vows because it would be “more meaningful than using traditional ones.”
“As a self-admitted perfectionist and English major, I spent an immense amount of time thinking about and writing mine, and while I wouldn’t hold my husband to impossible standards, I was really looking forward to hearing what he wrote,” the bride explained.
When the wedding ceremony came, the groom’s “beautiful” vows emotionally moved the bride — so much so that it made her “tear up.” But at the reception her tears of joy would turn into tears of sorrow.
The “slightly drunk” best man accidentally let it slip in his wedding toast that the groom used ChatGPT to write his vows “at the last minute.”
“My husband was laughing nervously, and I was taken aback,” the bride said. “As soon as the toasts were over, I ran to the restroom and cried, feeling extremely hurt that not only did he use AI to write something so intimate, but mostly that he presumably would not have told me had this not been revealed during the toast.”
The groom followed his wife to the bathroom and apologized, explaining that he felt “too overwhelmed” to write the vows himself and didn’t want to “disappoint” her.
“I told him that I didn’t want an apology from him but just wanted to survive the rest of the reception, which we did, although the entire time I was distracted and hurt by this situation,” the bride said.
Later that night, the couple continued to “fight” about the vows. The advice-seeker said she was more upset about her husband’s “hurtful” dishonesty than the fact that he used AI-generated vows.
“I told him that I wish he had just been honest with me and that his lying was far more hurtful to me than not writing his own vows,” she said, noting that she was also upset with his friends for being “comfortable lying on his behalf.”
The woman’s husband is “still apologizing” to her, and while she wants to “move on” she just doesn’t “know how.”
“Am I overthinking this?” she asked. “I feel like I have every right to be upset, and I worry about what other things he might keep from me.”
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In response to the submission, Slate’s editor-in-chief, Hillary Frey, told the bride that she was “WAY overthinking this.” She reminded the advice-seeker that “weddings are totally overwhelming,” and that her husband is “not an English major or perfectionist” like her and probably just “needed some help writing something that articulated his feelings better than he felt he could.”
“Based on his best man’s actions, I wouldn’t have gone to him for help, either!” Frey wrote. “So, there is our fraught companion, ChatGPT, offering its services. His heart was in the right place. Even more, he apologized; a lesser man would have been defensive and somehow made this your fault, I promise.”
She advised the bride to let go of this “unsavory memory” because married life will eventually “throw much tougher moments” her way.
“I am glad that it sounds like you have a thoughtful partner who holds you in such high regard that he enlisted help, even if it was from a robot. These are the times we live in!” Frey said. “So accept his apology, delete the photos of the best man giving his toast, and pick the one picture from your wedding you like the best and make it your home screen. The more you see you and your partner looking happy on your wedding day, the more the stupid best man speech will recede from memory.”
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