NEED TO KNOW
- A bride’s mother has been inviting a large number of people to her daughter’s wedding — which doesn’t have a date set yet
- The bride and groom, both introverts, have a very different idea of what their wedding will look like
- “Our rule for our wedding is we don’t want to meet anyone new,” the bride wrote on Reddit
One bride’s guest list is getting long, thanks to her mother — and it’s only growing.
In a post on Reddit’s wedding drama forum, a bride shared her progressing predicament: her mother’s determination to have a sizable wedding guest list. The bride and groom, both introverted people, both wanted the opposite — a small, intimate event — but the bride’s mother seemed to have other plans.
The bride’s family is Italian on both sides and, in the bride’s experience, that means a big wedding is expected, she wrote. Her mother’s wedding had over 500 people, and now she is “one of those people who puts down for 5 people when the invitation clearly states 2 guests,” the bride added.
“My fiancé and I are very quiet, lay low, avoid parties type people,” the bride wrote. “When we brought up our idea of a destination wedding to my parents, my mom almost passed out.”
The bride’s mother then said the concept of getting married outside of the city was “absurd,” and that a guest list of 100 to 150 just wasn’t enough.
Recently, the bride witnessed her mother invite people in front of her, without any sort of discussion. She told many people to “expect an invite” once the couple chooses a date, the bride recalled.
Other times, her mother has run prospective guests by the bride, she alleged. However, the bride questioned at what point the invites would end.
Her mother’s “pre-inviting” has seemingly become so extensive that the couple has received many “ring bearer and flower girl pitches” from relatives. People have been frequently asking if the couple has chosen a date yet, but the bride wrote that they haven’t even begun planning.
The bride and groom have been put in a position where they’re “going to hurt A LOT of people’s feelings” because even though they’ve been promised an invite by the bride’s mother, the couple just doesn’t want a huge wedding, the bride wrote.
“It’s just that my fiancé and I’s idea of our wedding is very different from the traditional,” the bride wrote. “Our rule for our wedding is we don’t want to meet anyone new.”
Their best plan thus far, the bride added, is to hold their wedding at a mountain destination about four hours away, and hope that the added inconvenience will deter a lot of guests from attending.
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People in the comments told the bride to sit down with her mom and explain her boundaries clearly. One user, who went through a similar experience, recommended having that conversation early and for the couple to hold their ground.
“It isn’t their wedding, it isn’t their opportunity to show off what they can afford to do, nor is it their party to host,” the user wrote. “This is about you and your fiancé, your wedding.”
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