"We have learned how to be both parallel and together at the same time," Bucatinsky tells PEOPLE of writer and director Roos
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NEED TO KNOW
- Dan Bucatinsky and Don Roos have been together for 33 years and married since 2008
- Bucatinsky tells PEOPLE their relationship’s longevity comes from embracing their differences and allowing each other personal space
- Both have successful Hollywood careers and have collaborated on projects like Web Therapy and Who Do You Think You Are?
Dan Bucatinsky and Don Roos are going strong after more than three decades together.
When the pair met in 1992, Bucatinsky, 60, was new to Los Angeles, and Roos, 70, was fresh off writing his second feature film, Love Field, starring Michelle Pfeiffer. Since then, they've watched each other's careers blossom and welcomed two kids, daughter Eliza, 21, and son Jonah, 18.
"We were legally married in 2008 only because that's when America allowed it to happen," Bucatinsky tells PEOPLE. "We had kids at that point and we were like, 'I think we should probably make this legitimate.'"
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Now Bucatinsky is an Emmy-winning actor, writer and producer who's starred in shows like Scandal, Hacks and The Comeback, while Roos has written and/or directed successful films like The Opposite of Sex and Marley & Me. They've also worked together on projects like Web Therapy and Who Do You Think You Are?
What's the secret to their successful relationship? "The key to the longevity is acknowledging our differences and allowing each of us to not expect the other one to share every experience and every interest," says Bucatinsky. "We really do allow each other separateness, which really helps."
"Don and I are really different," he continues. "He loves to be indoors, I love to be outdoors. I'm an extrovert. I really get recharged from being with other people, and Don really gets recharged from his face in a book and some alone time. But we also come together to share so many things that we love."
"We both make each other laugh, which I think is probably job one," adds the star.
Bucatinsky feels he and Roos have always balanced each other out as a couple.
"Listen, at the time when I met Don, he was one of Hollywood's top screenwriters, and I was working in the box office of the Canon Theatre in Beverly Hills selling cassette tapes for Forever Plaid," he recalls.
Throughout their years together, the spouses have learned to celebrate their differences. "It's a natural impulse to really want your other half to join you in all the things that you love, and it's not necessarily realistic or fair," says Bucatinsky.
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"Letting them find the things that they love, and finding the things that you love, and then you come together to raise your kids and your dogs, travel and laugh and watch the shows that you love together and build that sense of home," he adds. "The two things don't have to be mutually exclusive."
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Bucatinsky currently stars as Billy Stanton in the third and final season of The Comeback. New episodes air Sundays at 10:30 p.m. ET on HBO Max.
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