NEED TO KNOW
- After their adult daughter died, one couple learned she had set up a trust for her two children
- To keep the funds going, they decided to add money for their grandchildren without telling the kids’ father
- When the father finally learned about the secret trusts, his response was exactly what they expected
Two grandparents quietly saved money for their late daughter’s children, never expecting the decision to cause turmoil.
When the truth finally came out, it reshaped relationships across an entire blended family.
“My daughter died when my two grandchildren were young,” the grandmother wrote on Reddit.
Following her death, the poster and her husband found a small trust that their daughter had set aside for her children. Understanding that the original trust would not be enough to secure the children’s futures, the grandparents consistently contributed money in the years after her death.
“We decided to make sure they would receive a very comfortable amount from us once they reached 18,” she explained. “This was to help with college, or pay for a house, or to allow them the ability to train for their dream careers.”
However, given that their son-in-law had remarried and now has a blended family, they believed it was crucial to keep the funds private.
“We never told our son in-law,” she revealed. “This was done so we would not be asked to split the money between all the children and so our grandchildren would not be prioritized less by their father or his wife.”
“This money was not supposed to act as child support or money for the household. It’s for my grandchildren,” she emphasized.
Their plan worked quietly for years, and when the eldest grandchild received her funds after graduating, “she never told her dad.”
The younger grandchild, who graduated more recently, set up a high-interest savings account and chose an unconventional career path. But his decision sparked curiosity and ultimately exposed the secret.
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When her son-in-law learned of the secret savings accounts, the resulting fallout was immediate. His new wife was described as “furious,” and he himself felt blindsided.
“My son in-law was hurt we chose to do this instead of giving something to all the children,” she recalled. “He said us not telling him added to his hurt because he had hoped we would want all the children to have the same start in their adult lives.”
“He felt like we should have told him so he and his wife could plan accordingly,” she added.
Tension escalated to the point that the younger grandchild moved in with the grandparents, and while both grandchildren have tried to talk with their father, he still insists that the grandparents “should have told him” about the money.
Most commenters backed the grandparents, arguing that it was entirely reasonable to prioritize their own grandchildren, noting that they bore no responsibility to financially support their son-in-law’s children with his second wife.
“I’m sorry for the loss of your daughter, but I feel you need to point out to your grandchildren’s father that the playing field between his kids will never be equal,” one user wrote.
“Your grandchildren had to grow up without their mum, his other kids have two parents,” they added. “The money you’ve given to your grandchildren is basically you giving them what your daughter would have if she were still here.”
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