NEED TO KNOW
- Annie Owen is a funeral director and former mortician
- She talks with PEOPLE about what inspired her to share her mortician series on TikTok
- Owen says it’s an “honor to learn the stories of the dead”
Annie Owen has a morbid job – literally.
When Owen was in high school, she was interested in pursuing a career in funeral service. Her dad initially told her that it wasn’t a job for women, but that didn’t deter her.
After studying to get her bachelor’s degree in funeral science, she took a job as an apprentice in her hometown, later becoming a mortician and funeral director.
“It was difficult because a lot of the cases or the families that I worked with, I knew since it’s such a small town,” she tells PEOPLE exclusively. “You don’t know what to expect when you get a call. I focused on the thought of helping families and people, but you have to be prepared to see a lot of things that you’re not prepared to see.”
“One night, my best friend’s father had a heart attack in front of me, and he died,” she continues. “I was on call, and that was one of the first times ever I realized how difficult this job was, but it turned out to be a good lesson for me. I was glad that I could be there for my best friend, and I was able to walk through that journey with her.”
Being there for others in their time of need is fulfilling, but can also be emotionally draining. Owen shares that you “learn very quickly how to suppress your emotions so you can take care of other people.”
“It’s not about us, it’s about their feelings,” Owen shares. “Whatever we can do for the family to make things easier for them. But, over time, it got to be a lot for me. The older I get as a funeral director, I feel like I take it home a lot more than I did in the beginning.”
While working in funeral service, Owen has “braced herself for solemn moments,” and there have admittedly “been a lot” of them. Still, she is always amazed by how much “joy there is in celebrating someone’s life.”
“I had so many families over the years that have wonderful stories. I get to hear the stories of the person’s life. I have so many funny stories that people have told me,” Owen says. “When the families come together, they’re able to do that in a way that’s not as depressing as you think it would be.”
Owen hopes to quell some misconceptions about those working in the death industry, including the belief that they are “shady” and “unhappy.”
“There are some bad apples. But most of us have such integrity. We strive to have integrity in this business,” she shares. “There’s a misconception that if one director does something illegal, we all do it behind the scenes.”
“The majority of funeral directors strive to follow the law, and morally, you want to lay your head down at night and know that you did a good job for the family and respectfully for the deceased,” she adds.
Owen shares that the HBO show Six Feet Under is the “most realistic behind-the-scenes show that you will ever see.” She says the movie My Girl, for the most part, also represents funeral directors “in a good light.”
Some of these misconceptions, along with her desire to share stories about the people she has encountered, inspired her to start her series, “5 Things I Won’t Do Because I’ve Been A Mortician,” on TikTok.
Owen shares lists of things that she refuses to do because of what she’s seen — such as swimming in lakes, joyriding in the back of pickup trucks, taking other people’s medication, riding motorcycles without protection and cutting people off in traffic.
“I believe we can learn a lot from the dead, that they have a story to tell, whether [or not] that’s a cautionary story,” she says. “That was when I started my TikTok, I thought, ‘What are some stories that I can tell that people will learn from?’ When I started the series, those are real events that have happened, that I have seen, and I’ve seen the devastation.”
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Owen shares other stories, including personal accounts of people who have passed away, to remember them and raise awareness about their deaths.
“When I retell the stories, I sit down and think about the families I’ve met over the years. I miss many of the families I met. I had a close relationship with many people when I worked with families,” she shares.
“This process has allowed me to sit down and go over all the memories that I’ve had, and a lot of them are heartwarming and wonderful because I have met so many wonderful families, and that’s what keeps us going.”
While the topic of death can be uncomfortable for many, Owen encourages people to find the beauty in honoring those who came before us.
“People who don’t think they can do this job miss such a beautiful part of life, even though it’s death. Celebrating someone’s life is a truly wonderful experience, and it’s an honor to be there alongside the family,” Owen shares. “It’s an honor all these years to get to know these families and learn the stories of the dead, of the people that we’ve buried.”
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