A groom wants his sister at his side on his wedding day — but his father isn’t so keen on the idea.
In a post on Reddit’s “Wedding” forum, the 30-year-old husband-to-be shared the predicament surrounding his upcoming nuptials. He explained that he wants the person with whom he is closest — his half-sister — standing with him as his “best woman” when he gets married.
His dad, however, has a different idea. The groom was raised alongside his cousin — the son of his dad’s brother — because his uncle and father wanted their two sons to have a brother-type bond. They spent a lot of time together growing up, the groom wrote, even attending the same schools and playing on the same sports teams.
“My cousin got married five years ago and I was his best man,” he said. “Since then, my dad has heavily pushed that when I get married I need to ask him to be my best man.”
He added, “I love this cousin dearly, but I also want my sister to be included in my wedding and I don’t want her to have secondary type roles like doing a reading, guest book attendant, etc.”
When the groom shared this sentiment with his father, his dad got upset. He said the idea of a “best woman” is not “traditional” and “goes against the norms,” arguing that the groom should have only men by his side during the ceremony. His father added that the man’s cousin should be his best man — returning the favor, so to speak.
The groom said he felt hurt by his father’s response to his wedding plans.
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“I have suspected for many years that my dad doesn’t care much for my sister since he’s not her biological father,” he wrote. “My mom doesn’t do much to defend my sister either.”
“There’s a part of me that wants to tell my dad that if he doesn’t accept my plans for my side of the wedding party then he’s not allowed to come,” he continued.
People in the comments widely criticized the groom’s father’s stance. Many noted that gendered wedding traditions are outdated, while others pointed out that the groom is 30 years old and doesn’t need to heed his father.
“I’ve lost track of how many weddings I’ve attended with males and females on both sides of the wedding party, including the ‘best man’ and ‘maid of honor’ slots,” one commenter wrote. “Most now refer to them as primary witnesses to accommodate this. Don’t give it a second thought. It is YOUR decision who you want in your wedding party.”
Another Reddit user urged, “Stick to your guns. Honor the sister you have a deep bond with,” adding, “Tell your father he can’t make your decisions.”
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