NEED TO KNOW
- A man found out his girlfriend had a crush on his friend before their relationship began
- Venting on Reddit, he said she confessed that she “wasn’t really attracted” to him when they first met
- “I’d have never gone out with her if I knew I was literally her second choice,” the man said
A man is feeling like a last resort after finding out his girlfriend initially had feelings for his friend.
On Monday, Aug. 4, the man penned a lengthy post on Reddit’s AITAH forum, explaining why he decided to end his relationship with his girlfriend. He recalled that she seemed uninterested in him romantically when they first met, but they eventually became close and started dating.
While recently talking to a friend about the early days of his relationship, the man’s friend suddenly claimed he had been the one to speak highly of OP (original poster) and convince the woman they should get together.
“I mentioned this to my gf [girlfriend] and she was like, ‘You’re not mad?’ And I asked, ‘Why would I be mad?’ ” OP wrote on Reddit. “She reacted weirdly to that. Because she actually let something slip. I asked her again and pressed her for it.”
“She confessed that she didn’t really like me at first and wanted to date my friend, who kept talking me up about what a great guy I am,” he continued. “She said she wasn’t really attracted to me at first…”
Following the shock confession, the man said he told his girlfriend that he needed time to think.
He decided within just 24 hours that the relationship wouldn’t be able to continue, as he felt like “she went out with me out of pity.”
“She tried to convince me it wasn’t like that, but I didn’t believe her,” he said. “I also told my friend I’m kind of p—– at him for not telling me, and that I’d have never gone out with her if I knew I was literally her second choice.”
Over 500 people responded to the post, with the majority of commenters claiming that they would’ve had the same reaction.
“NTA.. [not the a——-] it would always hurt knowing that the only reason she’s with you is because your friend wasn’t interested in [her]… If your friend wanted her, she’d be with him,” one person commented. “I don’t think anyone is an AH, though. Maybe she became attracted to you because of the person you are, who knows?”
Never miss a story — sign up for PEOPLE’s free daily newsletter to stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories.
“NTA, it sucks being second to a friend, and in the back of your mind, you’ll wonder if she still prefers him or might even cheat on you with him,” another wrote. “It’s for the best. You’ll find someone else.”
However, several other commenters warned the man that he shouldn’t cut off his nose to spite his face.
“Congratulations, your ego got in the way of dating the woman you wanted to date. You played yourself,” one person wrote.
“I don’t know if you’re an a——, but if you really like this girl, then you are a dumba–. Who cares who she liked first? You were the one who ended up with her,” another said.
“This is kinda immature IMO [in my opinion],” a third chimed in. “I get that it stings a bit, but to automatically assume she’s ‘settling’ rather than genuinely noticing you and wanting to be with you sounds more like you potentially having low confidence and projecting that onto her rather than anything she did.”
“The vast majority of people get rejected at some point in their life and move on; that doesn’t mean everyone they move on to is somehow someone they’re ‘settling’ for,” the same person continued. “It just happens that someone she liked before you was your friend in this instance.”
Read the full article here
