NEED TO KNOW
- Gwyneth Paltrow opened up about the early days in her relationship with her stepdaughter Izzy Falchuk
- “She was testing me all the time to see at what point I would reject her,” Paltrow recalled during the Sept. 9 episode of The goop Podcast, which featured an interview with her husband Brad Falchuk
- She and Brad got married in 2018, bringing their four children together into one blended family; however, she admitted that it was a challenge at times
Gwyneth Paltrow has a great relationship with her stepdaughter, Izzy, now, but she admits it hasn’t always been easy.
During the Tuesday, Sept. 9 episode of Paltrow’s The goop Podcast, she and her husband Brad Falchuk spoke about step-parenting. They specifically discussed the roles a mother and father play, especially in blended families.
Falchuk, 54, asked Paltrow, 52, to “describe what the archetype of being a mother is,” after the couple discussed bringing their kids into a new relationship. She replied, “Actually it was your kids who really helped me define this for myself.”
Paltrow, who tied the knot with Falchuk in 2018, shares daughter Apple, 21, and son Moses, 19, with ex-husband Chris Martin. Falchuk is a dad to Izzy, 21, and son Brody, 18, whom he shares with ex-wife Suzanne Bukinik.
Paltrow continued, “It’s funny when I look back … we traversed through some really rough, rough things. And I think we should also touch on this at some point, what the lessons are that you learn from your stepchildren, because they’ve been really profound for me.”
“And one of my most profound lessons that I learned from my relationship with your daughter, which is now so fantastic, is that I think there was a testing going on,” she went on.
The actress explained, “She was testing me all the time to see at what point I would reject her. And at some point I decided, I just need to be exactly that — the essence of maternal. Without opinions, without words, without corrections, what does it mean to embody the essence of the maternal?”
“And I really landed on this kind of image or metaphor of the sun,” Paltrow went on, insisting, “The sun is incredibly warm and casting off light and sunshine, ray of light, and doesn’t need anything back in order to be it.”
“It just gives off. It just emanates. And that’s what I thought Izzy needed from me. I was just going to be that presence for her, always loving and forgiving in the face of if she acted up and show her that ultimately I was so there for her that she would not question my intentions or think that I was there to take you away from her,” she shared.
Earlier in the episode, the couple discussed kids not wanting to “let go of the family dynamic they had” as their parents start to date again.
Paltrow said, “What seems to happen every time is the dad is kind of in the middle, right?” She said that he is “trying to sort of appease both and play both sides” to keep his new partner and children happy.
“And the woman is like, ‘Hey, your kids are having a hard time.’ It’s very easy to take it personally, right? I think for women, they come in obviously wanting harmony and good intentions. It’s like the dream that it all is like the Brady Bunch and it blends really well,” she admitted.
“But the truth is, I think the only place to kind of act out is against the stepmother, right? Because they don’t want to push the dad away,” she said.
Falchuk pointed out that the kids might have got used to life with two separate parents after a divorce. Then the dynamic changes.
He said, “You’re like, Hey, dad, with two kids. This is working. We’re good. We got a house. We’re happy.” He continued, saying, “Mom with two kids. This is working. We’re great. And now it’s like, actually, actually, that’s not what we’re doing anymore.”
“Actually, we’re gonna throw in another adult that’s not your mom or that’s not your dad, but is kind of there to be your mom or your dad in this family dynamic. And of course, a kid would be resistant to that and push back [it’s like] they’re losing something, or they’re threatening. It’s a threat that they’re losing something,” Falchuk said.
Never miss a story — sign up for PEOPLE’s free daily newsletter to stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories.
The pair’s latest comments about blended families come after Paltrow sent Izzy a sweet message on her Instagram Stories to celebrate her 21st birthday earlier this month.
“Happy birthday my snizzle,” Paltrow wrote over a photo of Izzy smiling and wearing sunglasses. “You have taught me so much about love. I am lucky to be your stepmom. @izzyfalchuk.”
Read the full article here
