NEED TO KNOW
- A man says his stepmother tried to ruin his engagement so her son could pursue his fiancée
- When he finally proposed in secret, her shocking reaction left him stunned
- Now his father has walked out, and the family may never be the same
A man seeks advice from the Reddit community after cutting his stepmother out of his life and possibly causing his father to leave her. The reason, he explains, is that his stepmother has been trying to sabotage his engagement in order to make her own son happy.
The 24-year-old writes, “My stepmother is trying to sabotage my engagement to make her son happy.” He says he has been dating his girlfriend, Cara, for several years after first meeting her at an anime convention in New York City.
The poster remembers that they had known each other years earlier when they both worked for an ambulance company, though Cara didn’t remember him at first. “We clicked and have been good friends since; then during the pandemic I asked her out [on a] date, and we have been together since,” he shares.
He describes Cara as “amazing,” saying she loves anime, fantasy novels, science fiction and some other common interests. While she’s also passionate about true crime podcasts, which aren’t his thing, he says, “it makes her happy.”
After they began dating, he introduced Cara to his father, stepmother Karen, and stepbrother Tom. “Everything was so cool, Cara was a hit amongst my family,” he recalls, though he noticed his stepbrother’s interest in her was unusually strong.
“Tom during this time was becoming a little annoying coming over my apartment more frequently, and texting Cara a lot,” he writes. Cara told him about it, but the couple decided not to be concerned at first.
Things escalated when Tom moved into their home. “My stepmother asked if Tom could move in with us… we have an extra bedroom in the house we are renting, it was a guest bedroom,” he says, explaining that he and Cara agreed as long as it was only temporary.
Once Tom moved in, however, boundaries quickly disappeared. “He wants to hang out with us every day,” the poster says, adding that Tom would sit with them during video games, interrupt Cara’s alone time and even invite himself along on date nights.
The couple tried to push back, but Tom’s mother always sided with him. “He would cry to his mom, and she would say we are not being nice to Tom,” the poster recalls, sharing that his stepmother insisted her son was lonely.
A breaking point came when Tom inserted himself into a vacation. “Cara and myself booked a vacation, and he just so happened to book the same cruise as us; that was a huge red flag,” he explains, noting that the cruise was centered around Cara’s love of true crime.
After that disastrous trip, he told Tom it was time to move out. “Luckily my dad put his foot down and told Karen it’s been 14 months and he needs to find his own place,” he writes, relieved that Tom returned to live with his parents.
Though Tom still tried to insert himself into their lives, the couple regained some peace. That is, until the poster asked his father for his late mother’s wedding ring to propose to Cara.
“My dad happily gave me the ring no questions asked, and his wedding ring too for myself,” he shares. But when Karen found out, she was openly critical, saying Cara was “an older woman and that is proper.”
Tom also reacted badly. “He said I don’t understand Cara like he does,” the poster recalls. Tom even went so far as to predict the couple “will be divorced in a year of marriage.”
Despite the negativity, he planned several moments to propose. But each attempt was ruined by last-minute emergencies involving Karen, from hospital visits to flat tires to a broken grill.
Frustrated, he decided to take Cara on a trip to Japan and propose in secret. “I didn’t tell anyone, I had it all planned out and booked a spa day in Japan and asked her! She said yes,” he writes.
The happy news wasn’t shared by everyone. “[Karen] blew up my phone saying how could I do this to Tom!!!” he says of his stepmother, who told him, “Tom is in love with Cara and she is his one and only.”
Karen even went as far as begging him to give Cara up. “She was calling texting non stop now saying can I just let Tom have Cara,” he recalls, horrified. His reply was clear: “Cara is a human and she isn’t something to be given away, and she doesn’t belong to anybody.”
He says he showed his father the voicemails and texts, which prompted his dad to leave Karen and stay at his house. “My Dad wasn’t shocked but he is staying at my house because he doesn’t know what to do,” he explains.
Never miss a story — sign up for PEOPLE’s free daily newsletter to stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories.
But Karen and Tom haven’t stopped. “They keep driving by the house, and trying to call my dad,” he says. The couple has blocked both of them, though he admits, “I may get a restraining order, because this is making Cara really uncomfortable.”
One commenter reassures him, “You are not responsible for the actions of a man child and his bat s— crazy mother.” The poster responds, “Yeah I’m just trying to keep Cara safe from this.”
Read the full article here