Man Reveals His Co-Worker Was Shocked by His Tattoos — but Here’s Why He Doesn’t ‘Blame’ Her (Exclusive)

In July, DJ, a 32-year-old who works in higher education as a research assistant, went on social media to open up about his tattoos.

In the clip, he recounted an incident he had with an older colleague reacting to his appearance at a work-related event attended by fellow academics, as well as city and government members. The Arizona resident said he remembered noticing a “wave of judgment” glaze over his co-worker’s expression upon seeing his ink for the first time. Up until that point, the two had only worked together remotely.

“When I met my colleague, I could tell it was a bit disarming and that she might not have expected me to look like that, given how professional I may sound over Zoom,” DJ tells PEOPLE after his video gained over 300K views on TikTok. Her response didn’t feel “antagonistic or mean” but still “was very much an ‘Oh…hi!’ type of moment. The ever-so-slight pause in her body language gave it away,” he says.

“I don’t blame her for reacting this way, though,” he adds. “I’ve unintentionally fooled people based on how I present myself with the way I talk and the juxtaposition of having tattoos in a seemingly conservative, strict and proper environment.”

Since 2019, DJ has accumulated 12 tattoos, many of them large, on various parts of his body. Many of them are nature-inspired — mountains, oceans, trees, animals — to symbolize a childhood mostly spent outdoors. At 26, he saved enough money to get his first tattoos of the mountains where he grew up and a portrait of his family dog.

“I’d always liked seeing tattoos on others, and there’s definitely that ‘cool’ factor, but there’s more to it for me,” DJ says. “It felt really good to honor my journey and places that make me, me. I started to feel whole again.”

DJ wears his ink loud and proud, mostly because both of his arms are covered in a handful of pieces that he shows through his casual style. “My right arm, where it all started, became a patchwork sleeve with mostly traditional style pieces. My left arm is much more elaborate with larger colored realism works.” Although when “the situation requires it,” he can “easily” conceal his tattoos.

Luckily, over the years, DJ has never found himself in a position where he felt outwardly shamed for his image. “I’ve had great luck being in environments where I felt accepted. Not once have I gotten into trouble for showing my ink. That said, I’ve always been in departments and spaces where it’s generally more accepted: social sciences, humanities, arts, design and landscape architecture. But, the company culture and the types of people working there [are those] that make or break things.”

“Beyond higher education, I worked in public service assisting people with mental health struggles and homelessness, where individuality is actually embraced,” he continues. “The types of industries and sectors I’m drawn to are less conservative, so that probably helps.”

The most reaction he’s gotten out of a surprised colleague is “pauses and looks here and there,” mostly because he believes people are “on high alert in professional settings and tend to avoid anything that could be seen as discrimination.” The judgment isn’t limited to age, he adds, noting that millennials like himself have cast their opinions on his look. But sometimes, conversations around his tattoos will have a touching outcome. “In fact, some of my past clients and colleagues reported feeling a closer connection to me because I have them.”

DJ adds that tattoos have impacted his life in “positive ways” — however, he isn’t someone who’ll “sugarcoat” things when reflecting on the “hardest” part of his tattoo journey.

“One of my friendship groups ended when I got my first pieces. They started acting differently around me, and I can tell they were disapproving of my choice. I think it challenged their idea of what it means to have tattoos and just be a normal human being. They grew up very conservatively. I distinctly remember someone’s reaction being, ‘What do you even get from having them?’ He didn’t understand nor cared to try, but eventually they naturally left the picture and I was able to surround myself with others who didn’t feel threatened by someone expressing themselves through art.”

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He also thinks that tattoos have made him “less of a target” of bullying, which is something that made high school “a rough time.”

“I grew up in spaces where Asians weren’t well represented, so there was always this feeling of not belonging somewhere,” DJ shares. “I don’t have this sense of fear of what others might think of me because, even without the tattoos, I’ve been judged for being someone that I can’t change, nor would I ever want to change.”

And his one message is to accept others how they come. “Tattoos don’t need to pigeonhole you. You can have tattoos and be a lawyer, an academic, a carpenter, a doctor, a mother, the list goes on,” he adds. “Hopefully, they can see that someone like me, an Asian who is tatted up, works in higher ed, studies in grad school, and has lofty goals, exists. I’m not scary!”