A married woman says her single friend “only ever” wants to meet up for drinks and “find men” — and she’s tired of it.
The woman detailed her experience in the “AIBU? [Am I Being Unreasonable?]” forum on the U.K.-based community site Mumsnet.com on March 10. In the post, she shared that she meets up with one of her single friends about once a month, and that even though she often suggests other activities, the friend always “knocks them down in favor of the pub.”
“It’s just not my scene any more,” the original poster (OP) explained, noting that she would be open to going to a bar every other month or so — just not every time.
The woman wrote that she has “adamantly” expressed to the friend that she would like to go to dinner instead of the pub for their upcoming hangout, but “she’s just come back saying ‘no, we’re going to the pub.’ ”
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“I [don’t] want to sit and drink wine on a Thursday night in a pub full of people, and to be honest if my husband had a mate who was constantly on the lookout and bringing women over to the table to join them I wouldn’t be too impressed,” the woman added.
She then asked her fellow community members if she would be acting “unreasonable” if she canceled their upcoming get-together should the friend not agree to her alternate suggestion.
The vast majority of commenters advised the OP to stand her ground and cancel her upcoming plans.
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“I don’t think you should go. It isn’t something you enjoy and she cannot dictate what you do every time,” wrote one person, before adding, “It does seem as if she isn’t that interested in spending time with you — she just wants a wingwoman.”
“Just cancel. It’s not your thing anymore and that’s fine. I couldn’t think of anything worse these days,” someone else commented.
Yet another person chimed in: “You’re not a friend she meets up with, you’re her wingwoman. She has no interest in you as a person, [you’re] just someone to sit next to her. She needs to go out with other single women with the same aspirations for the evening. She’s also likely the type to drop you like a hot brick if she finds a man so I’d get in first. And I don’t often advise dropping a friend, but this type of using really grinds my gears.”
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