NEED TO KNOW
- Grey’s Anatomy is known for putting characters’ relationships on emotional rollercoasters
- Several cast members are in long-term marriages off-screen
- Ellen Pompeo has been married to husband Chris Ivery since 2007, while Patrick Dempsey wed his wife Jillian in 1999
Grey’s Anatomy is known for bringing the drama when it comes to the characters’ relationships on-screen, but the cast’s real life love lives are much less turbulent.
The series returns for its 22nd season on Oct. 9, after delivering years with no shortage of both romance and heartbreak, as viewers have watched countless couples break up and make up within the halls of Grey Sloan Memorial Hospital.
From Derek Shepherd and Meredith Grey’s iconic Post-It note vows to Jackson Avery’s jaw-dropping love confession to April Kepner during her wedding, the show has delivered some of television’s most unforgettable romantic storylines.
Meredith’s famous “pick me, choose me” line might’ve inspired a Gen-Z trend (the “pick me girl”), but in real life, Ellen Pompeo — who bid farewell to the show after a 19-season run and remains a recurring guest — has been married to her husband Chris Ivery since 2007.
Pompeo’s castmates’ love lives are also far less dramatic than their characters but just as sweet (and long-lasting!). James Pickens Jr. wed his wife in 1984, while Camilla Luddington married her husband Matthew Alan in 2019.
From a couple who met on set to two who have been married for decades, here are the real-life loves of the cast of Grey’s Anatomy.
Ellen Pompeo & Chris Ivery
When Ellen Pompeo hangs up Meredith Grey’s scrubs, she goes home to her husband of nearly two decades: Chris Ivery. The pair met in 2003, but it wasn’t “a love at first sight” story.
During a December 2022 appearance on The Drew Barrymore Show, Pompeo explained that she met Ivery while in a grocery store, where he knew a friend she was with.
“It’s not some big romance that happened over crackers and cheese in the aisle,” she said, explaining that they said a quick hello before having some heated exchanges down the line.
“He called me a bunch of times, and I wouldn’t call him back. Then he said, ‘You’re rude. You won’t call me back,’ and I said, ‘Well, because I’m not trying to go on a date with you,’ ” Pompeo recalled. “We had a fight first. That’s kind of always the way to my heart, piss me off and I’m all yours.”
Pompeo and Ivery got married in 2007 and later welcomed three children — Stella Luna, Sienna May and Eli Christopher, born in 2009, 2014 and 2016, respectively.
James Pickens Jr. & Gina Taylor
James Pickens Jr. has been in a relationship for the entire time he’s been playing Dr. Richard Webber on Grey’s Anatomy.
Though not much information is known about his wife, Gina Taylor is a credited actress, having worked in films such as Deliver Us From Eva, and is featured on soundtracks for The Lion King 1 1/2 as well as Sing Along Songs: Brother Bear, per IMDb.
They married in 1984 and share two children: Gavyn Picken and Carl Tharps.
Kevin McKidd and Danielle Savre
Kevin McKidd — a.k.a. Dr. Owen Hunt — has been dating former Station 19 actress Danielle Savre since at least June 2023.
They made their red carpet debut in November 2023 and stepped out together again two months later at the 2023 Emmy Awards Celebration.
There, McKidd opened up to PEOPLE about his new relationship, saying, “We’re really happy and she’s an amazing human being, so I feel lucky on many levels in my life right now.”
The actor was previously married to ex-wife Arielle Goldrath, with whom he shares two children: Aiden and Nava. Additionally, he was married to ex-wife Jane Parker for 17 years, and they welcomed two children, daughter Iona and son Joseph.
Caterina Scorsone
Caterina Scorsone, who plays Amelia Shepherd, split from her husband of 10 years, Rob Giles, in 2020.
“Caterina and Rob have separated,” their reps told PEOPLE at the time. “They remain friends and are committed to co-parenting their children in a spirit of love.”
The actress wed Giles, a musician, in 2009. They share three daughters: Eliza, Pippa and Arwen.
Camilla Luddington & Matthew Alan
Camilla Luddington knows a thing or two about longtime loves as Dr. Jo Wilson in Grey’s Anatomy — much like her real-life romance with her husband Matthew Alan, who is a fellow actor known for his role in 13 Reasons Why.
The actress went on her first date, a Temper Trap concert, with Alan in 2008. When they wed in 2019, Luddington paid homage to the early days of their relationship by walking down the aisle to Temper Trap’s “Sweet Disposition.”
The wedding — an intimate California coastline ceremony — was attended by 70 of their closest friends and family, including former costar Jessica Capshaw.
“We’re just ready to do the damn thing,” she told PEOPLE at the time. “We kind of already feel married because we have a 2-year-old. But there’s something romantic to us about solidifying that family unit by having the ceremony and actually having Hayden present.”
She added, “To be honest, I’m just excited to get into that new normal of married life.”
The pair have two kids: daughter Hayden Alan, born in April 2017, and son Lucas Matthew, welcomed in August 2020.
Jason Winston George & Vandana Khanna
Jason Winston George’s Grey’s Anatomy character Ben Warren may be devoted to Miranda Bailey — but in real life, the actor is in love with his wife, Vandana Khanna. The pair met in college and wed in 1999.
So what’s been the secret to their long-lasting marriage?
“We fight fair,” he told Steve Harvey in November 2017. “You’re gonna have fights because if you don’t have fights, you’re not being honest. So when you fight, you’ve gotta be fair about it.”
Asked to explain further, George elaborated, saying, “When you settle it, don’t say it’s settled if it’s not, and then bring it up again six months later. When you settle it, it’s settled. Right?”
Kim Raver & Manu Boyer
Kim Raver’s character, Dr. Teddy Altman, has mastered the complexities of cardiothoracic surgery. But off-screen, Raver excels at the art of keeping her private life under the radar.
The actress has been married to her French director husband Manu Boyer since 2000, and she chooses to keep the intimate details of their relationship to herself.
Asked about their first meeting, Raver told Women’s Health, “I met him in New York, in a swimming pool. That first meeting is kind of sacred, so I think I want to keep it to myself.”
The couple have two sons: Luke West and Leo Kipling.
Christopher Carmack & Erin Slaver
Chris Carmack — who plays orthopedic surgeon and heartthrob Atticus “Link” Lincoln on the medical drama — married his longtime girlfriend Erin Slaver in 2018.
“Chris and I are overjoyed to now be husband and wife!” Slaver told PEOPLE of their special day. “The wedding, although a blur, couldn’t have been a more perfect beginning to the adventure that lies ahead for our family.”
The pair have a band together, Life on Eris, and released their debut EP, Stonewall, in October 2020.
The pair share two daughters: Kai, born in 2016, and Cielle Estee, welcomed in 2022.
Harry Shum Jr. & Shelby Rabara
Harry Shum Jr.’s character Dr. Benson Kwan found himself in some complicated romantic situations when he joined Grey’s Anatomy as a surgical intern in season 19. But in real life, he’s been going strong with his wife, Shelby Rabara, since they began dating in 2007.
During an October 2022 appearance on the The Jennifer Hudson Show, Shum Jr. shared that their first date was a trip to the theaters to see Dreamgirls together.
“We both cried and it was just such a beautiful experience because after that we just talked about you,” he told host Jennifer Hudson. “It really kinda brought us together and we opened up about a lot of things and it was just such a beautiful first date.”
Shum Jr. and Rabara got engaged in October 2014 and tied the knot in November 2015. In March 2019, they welcomed their first child, daughter Xia.
In addition to sharing a child, Shum Jr. and Rabara both have a passion for acting and dancing. While they both appeared on Glee, Rabara additionally had a role in 2009’s 17 Again. She has also lent her voice to the character Peridot for the Steven Universe franchise on Cartoon Network.
Patrick Dempsey & Jillian Dempsey
Patrick Dempsey has been stealing the hearts of Grey’s Anatomy fans since day one, portraying Dr. Derek Shepherd, a.k.a “McDreamy.” But off-screen, he is devoted to his wife, Jillian Dempsey.
Dempsey’s run-in with his wife was written in the stars — or, at least, in an appointment book.
At the time of their meeting in 1994, Jillian, who owned a hair salon, had an employee who had a knack for jotting down celebrity names in the appointment book as a joke. So, when she saw her future husband’s name on the list of clients, she thought it was another ruse.
However, when the actor walked in, Jillian was pleasantly surprised. “I was shocked,” she recalled. “But at the same time, I was happy because he was so cute.”
At the time, both parties were in relationships and didn’t get together until 1997. Jillian moved in three months after their first date and the couple wed in 1999.
Beautiful as their love story has been, the Dempseys have been honest about the tougher times in their marriage, including their near-split in 2015.
“Our marriage was not something I was prepared to let go of,” Patrick told PEOPLE in September 2016. “I didn’t feel like we had done all the work. And we both wanted to do that work. That’s where it started.”
The lovebirds share three children: daughter Talula Fyfe, whom they welcomed in 2002, and twin sons Sullivan Patrick and Darby Galen, whom they welcomed in 2007.
Justin Chambers & Keisha Chambers
Alex Karev may have been conflicted between his past love, Izzie Stevens, and more recent love Jo Wilson, but in real life, Justin Chambers’ heart has belonged to one woman — his wife, Keisha — for upwards of 30 years.
The two met when Chambers was working as a model in the early ’90s, and his wife was a booking agent. They got married in 1993 and share five kids: Isabella, Maya, Kaila, Eva and Jackson.
During a 2007 conversation with Good Housekeeping, Chambers opened up about his long-term relationship with his soulmate, saying, “We’ve been together for so long that I really don’t know any other way to be.”
“Every relationship has its ups and downs, but I’m glad I get to go through the ups and downs with her,” he said. “I just feel really fortunate to have found someone who will be my partner on this journey.”
T.R. Knight & Patrick Leahy
T.R. Knight — whose beloved character George O’Malley exited the show in season 6 — has been locked down with his longtime beau, Patrick Leahy, for more than a decade.
The two met in 2010 and got married in 2013 in a private wedding ceremony attended by former Grey’s Anatomy costars.
For the 10th anniversary of their meeting in 2020, the actor posted a selfie taken by his husband while they were out on a stroll.
“Ten years ago, @bridgeteverett @zshaffer1 and @jasoneagan made meeting this magnificent human possible. My goal for the next ten? Keep trying to deserve him,” Knight wrote on Instagram.
He shared the same sentiment under pictures commemorating their 10th wedding anniversary in October 2023 on Instagram, writing, “Ten years ago yesterday, I got married to this extraordinary man. Never dreamed this could happen in my lifetime.”
He added, “We hold close to our hearts all those that never had- nor will have- this right.”
Jessica Capshaw & Christopher Gavigan
Capshaw, who played Arizona Robbins, tends to keep her marriage out of the spotlight. She married entrepreneur and co-founder of The Honest Company, Christopher Gavigan, in 2004.
They have four children: Luke, Eve, Poppy and Josephine.
Sarah Drew & Peter Lanfer
Long before we knew her as the eccentric April Kepner on Grey’s Anatomy, Sarah Drew married her husband, Peter Lanfer, in 2002. The pair share two children: Micah Emmanuel and Hannah Mali Rose.
Her kids have grown up to be her support system, with Drew even revealing in January 2025 that her son helped her process the “pain” of leaving Grey’s Anatomy.
“I’ve had Micah say to me, ‘What’s so great is that if you were still on Grey’s, you would not be able to be on Mistletoe Murders,’ ” she said on the Between Us Moms podcast, referring to her new show.
She continued, “And I was like, ‘You’re right. You’re right.’ And this is the joy that came out of that closed door. What I’m living in and experiencing right now. So there you go.”
Kelly McCreary & Pete Chatmon
Married life was quite the rollercoaster for Kelly McCreary’s character, Dr. Maggie Pierce, before she exited the show in 2023. But in real life, it’s been more smooth sailing.
In fact, the show served as the perfect conduit for the actress and her director husband, Pete Chatmon, as the two met on set.
McCreary and Chatmon got married in an intimate seaside wedding ceremony in 2019 and shared images of their big day with fans on Instagram.
“Married, yo! In our favorite place, surrounded by beloved family and friends, and under the new moon,” she wrote. “I am besieged by blessings. I love you, @petechatmon!!”
The couple welcomed their first child, daughter Indigo Wren, in October 2021.
Giacomo Gianniotti & Nichole Gustafson
For their 2019 wedding, Giacomo Gianniotti, who portrayed Andrew DeLuca before his departure from the show, and his bride, Nichole Gustafson, went back to the actor’s place of birth: Rome.
The couple said “I do” at Villa Pocci, which sits on a lake and overlooks Castel Gandolfo, a year after the Grey’s heartthrob proposed.
In February 2024, the actor shared a tribute to his “forever Valentine” on Instagram.
“Whether it’s in the middle of Piazza Navona at 5am or our kitchen, I’ll always dance with you,” he wrote.
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