MGK Says He Thinks of Himself as a ‘Representative of the Broken’ — Here’s Why

MGK is opening up about feeling “broken” and how it’s shaped his connection with fans and his songwriting process.

During a wide-ranging conversation at the Grammy Museum in Los Angeles on Wednesday, Oct. 1, the 35-year-old singer — who has long been candid about his struggles with his mental health and suicidal ideation — shared that he considers himself “a beacon or a representative of the broken.”

“I found through my fan base that I think they relate a lot more to the realness or the vulnerability or maybe the archetype of someone who rose from the ashes like a phoenix or someone who’s more broken because I feel like that’s a more common feeling around the world than people who are always in control or feel good about themselves,” he told the audience.

“That’s a really easy place for me to tap into because honestly, man, for the most part, I feel broken, and I’m starting to do the work and I’ve been doing the work to put those pieces back together,” he added.

But doing that healing work, he explained, has sparked fears that he’ll lose his creative edge.

“Sometimes I get a little too scared when the pieces come back together — like, ‘Oh, but how can I ever write about being broken if I’m always fixed?’ And so maybe that was what I was feeling in the past three years since my last album, which was a mainstream sellout. I was getting a little scared of the writing that I was doing,” said MGK (formerly known as Machine Gun Kelly).

“I wasn’t impressed by it,” he continued, “and things were going pretty good for me, and maybe something was just clicking in my head, but out of torment comes some really good content, good stuff. Yeah, torment comes good content. Yeah, for a poet at least.”

The “Bloody Valentine” singer shared that he took to journal writing while in rehab. (In the track “Treading Water” off his latest album, Lost Americana, the musician reveals he spent last Christmas in rehab.)

“I had this red notebook that a fan actually gave to me [that I] wrote so much in,” he said. “They would lights off everything around 9:30, 10:00 p.m., and then during all those hours that I couldn’t sleep, I would just write my feelings. So yeah, I do do that.”

MGK said he also uses writing to “manifest” things. “I write down things that I want to attain, and on a new moon, I burn it. I did that for the Grammys a couple of years ago. Didn’t pan out, but I think I was waiting for the right year,” he revealed.

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In an exclusive interview with PEOPLE published last month, the musician spoke about navigating difficult times in his life, describing himself as “a rolling stone.”

“You’re bound to continue hitting rocks and obstacles. It’s just the path I chose, I guess,” he said at the time.

MGK also shared why he didn’t shy away from showing his sensitive side on Lost Americana, which dropped on Aug. 8.

“Vulnerability is how I was able to hold on to the fan base I’ve had for so many years,” he said. “The human behind the music has to show the human side. Maybe this time, they’ll get to know the man-slash-broken-boy behind the moniker MGK.”

If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health challenges, emotional distress, substance use problems, or just needs to talk, call or text 988, or chat at 988lifeline.org 24/7.

If you or someone you know needs mental health help, text “STRENGTH” to the Crisis Text Line at 741-741 to be connected to a certified crisis counselor.