NEED TO KNOW
- A Reddit user explained that her two adult daughters have very different planning styles when it comes to her visiting them
- “I never get a response from one for days, while the other has her response for us to do things with grandkids within a day,” the mom wrote of her daughters’ contrasting behaviors
- Her July 3 Reddit post has attracted nearly 1,500 responses
A frustrated mother is at a crossroads with one of her adult daughters when it comes to making travel plans to visit her.
The mom explained on Reddit’s “Am I the A——” forum that her two daughters, who are both married and have children, live a four-hour flight away — and that planning with each of them is very different.
“Every time my husband and I make plans to visit our adult girls I never get a response from one for days, while the other has her response for us to do things with grandkids within a day,” the woman wrote.
She also said she gives them at least a 30-day notice before any visit.
“There’s other family we visit with,” she said of why planning is important for these visits. “Seven days before the trip and still just lame excuses with no definite dates. I’m just totally over catering to this daughter.”
“My husband on the other hand acts like planning makes no difference and likes to just go with the flow, but I like some idea of where and when to visit,” she continued, adding that her daughter sends eleventh-hour texts.
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“I’m over feeling rushed for the last minute ‘Well, if you can make it’ plans because then I look like the bad guy if we can’t break other family plans to see grandkids,” the mom said, before asking if she’s wrong for feeling tired of catering to one daughter whenever making travel plans to see family.
The July 3 Reddit post has attracted nearly 1,500 responses, with opinions being mixed about whether the mom is the “a——.”
“[You’re the a——] for the tone. ‘Everyone else caters to me and behaves exactly as I require them to, so why can’t she?’ is all I can hear,” one reader replied, while another said, “It’s wild how far y’all bend over backward to turn her into the bad guy just because she’s the mom in this situation.”
Another Redditor offered a solution, commenting, “Make plans with the daughter who responds and simply tell the other what your plans are. Then take a breath. You are not the bad guy.”
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