NEED TO KNOW
- A mother has accused her husband of behaving unfairly toward their son to avoid upsetting their daughter
- She said in a post on Mumsnet that her daughter gets “upset” when her son gets to visit a friend while she has to stay at home
- Responses to the post argued that the parents shouldn’t be expecting the children to keep each other entertained all day
A mother is stunned by her husband’s latest parenting decision.
Sharing the situation in a post on the U.K.-based forum Mumsnet, the mom explained that they have an 8-year-old and a 9-year-old, who her husband looks after during school breaks as he works from home three days a week.
She said her son is often invited to a friend’s house once or twice “for a play date” during school holidays. However, her husband is refusing to let him go this time because their daughter “starts whining that she’s bored and wants to go to her friends for a play date.”
“Occasionally, that’s feasible, but sometimes it isn’t, and if it isn’t, she will become upset,” the mom said of her daughter. “DH [dear husband] has said it’s too disruptive for his work and doesn’t want to deal with it.”
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Curious to hear other people’s opinions, the mom asked, “AIBU [am I being unreasonable] to think this is massively unfair on DS [dear son].
The comments section of the post was flooded with people arguing it’s unfair to expect her husband to watch both children while working and accusing the parents of expecting the 9-year-old to keep the 8-year-old entertained.
“I think what’s unreasonable is your husband doing childcare instead of working,” one person said. “Does his work know? It’s people like your husband that will get the rest of us ‘actual workers’ dragged back into the office. Get proper childcare sorted out.”
“There is no way he should be caring for 2 dcs [dear children] while working,” another chimed in. “It’s a recipe for disaster. It sounds like he is relying on the 9yo to watch & entertain the 8yo. Can you organize a babysitter for that day?”
“I do think 8/9 is a bit young to be fully fending for themselves while dad works,” a third commented. “Best to focus on actual childcare; book some holiday clubs, a bit of annual leave from each of you, and it won’t seem so stressful.”
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Among the stream of commenters complaining that her husband shouldn’t be multitasking work with childcare were also people arguing that their son should be allowed to go to the play date, while their daughter needs to accept she won’t always get her way.
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“Ah of course, a 9-year-old and an 8-year-old need constant entertainment and input from an adult and anything else is neglect… 🙄” one person said. “OP [original poster], I think your daughter’s whining is what needs addressing. It’s not always possible to make everything perfectly fair for both kids, and she’s not too young to understand that.”
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