NEED TO KNOW
- A pregnant woman turns to Reddit after she told her parents she wants no visitors at the hospital
- Her parents pushed back, demanding to wait at the hospital anyway
- After being told no, her dad left the family group chat in anger, and they threatened to leave town
A woman is turning to Reddit for advice after a tense standoff with her parents over the birth of her first child. As her due date approaches, she says her parents are refusing to respect her wishes for privacy during this deeply personal moment.
“I had the difficult conversation with my mother today, sharing my wishes for when I go into the hospital to have my first baby, who is due any day now,” she wrote in her post, describing her family’s large circle of 19 immediate relatives.
The expectant mom explained that she and her partner want time alone with their newborn before inviting visitors, but her parents are pushing back.
Her mother insisted that she and the poster’s father be allowed to wait at the hospital, but the mom-to-be stood her ground. “I told my mom that our wishes are that nobody be at the hospital until when (and if) we feel ready for visitors,” she shared, adding, “She said that her and my dad want to be there in the waiting room and I said no — I don’t want that pressure on me.”
The situation became even more fraught when her mother argued that it was especially important for her father to be present, since this would be his first biological grandchild.
“I told her I’m not worried about his feelings or anyone else’s for that matter. Only mine, my partner’s, and my baby’s,” the poster stated.
Despite her clear boundaries, her mother continued to press, even suggesting they might leave town if they weren’t allowed to be at the hospital. “She also said my dad wants to bring us breakfast the morning after the baby is born and I said no,” the woman explained, reiterating her desire for at least 12 hours alone as a new family of three.
The mom-to-be also revealed a history of her parents disregarding boundaries, recalling when her father showed up uninvited at her half-sister’s delivery. “He was first to hold the baby — not even my sister’s own biological father,” she wrote, noting that her mother had gone on a trip during that birth despite being asked to stay.
Determined not to repeat the same experience, she told her mother that anyone who shows up uninvited would be turned away. She also decided to turn off location sharing to prevent family members from tracking her at the hospital, especially after her father’s previous behavior.
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The poster shared a particularly upsetting incident involving her father and her nephew, who was kissed on the head as a newborn against the parents’ wishes. “My dad kissed my nephew on the head when he was born after being asked not to, knowing he wasn’t supposed to,” she wrote, adding that her father boasted about planning to do the same with her baby.
This disregard for her wishes has left the soon-to-be mom feeling anxious and angry. “My mama bear, ultra pregnant, self is having a really really hard time with this and it fills me with rage knowing my baby will be put in danger upon my dad’s first meeting him,” she admitted.
After her candid conversation with her mother, the fallout was swift. “I’m assuming after the phone call with my mom, she then told my dad all of this—because he left the family group message and turned his shared location off (which they both do semi-regularly when throwing fits),” she revea.
The couple then stopped sharing their own locations, which they had already planned to do. “I was considering leaving it on if I felt they would be reasonable, but they acted as expected,” she said.
The poster reflected on her father’s behavior, describing him as “narcissistic.” She expressed frustration that her mother always prioritizes her father’s needs over those of her adult children and grandchildren.
“It’s just all so disappointing,” she wrote, noting the growing wedge in her relationship with her mother.
Despite the family drama, she remained focused on the joy ahead. “Regardless, my partner is incredible and I’m so excited to have my precious baby,” she shred. “I love my life and the 2, soon to be 3 of us live in such a peaceful home environment. Wish me luck.”
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