Launched in 2013, the harris project is a nonprofit dedicated to the prevention and treatment of co-occurring disorders (COD) — the combination of mental health challenges and substance use issues. Us Weekly has partnered with the harris project to bring you The Missing Issue, a special edition focusing on the stories of celebrities who struggled with COD. Here, we’re revisiting our past coverage of some of those stars.
This story ran on usmagazine.com on October 21, 2024:
OLD STORY: Liam Payne Had Multiple Drugs — Including Crack and Cocaine — in System Prior to Death: Report
[Read the full original story.]
NEW STORY: Liam Payne Had Co-Occurring Disorders — Including Anxiety, Agoraphobia, Depression and Cocaine Use — Prior to Death
In the years prior to his death on Oct. 16, 2024, Liam Payne shared many candid moments about his mental health struggles in multiple interviews. And while his years-long struggle with substance misuse including alcohol, cocaine and prescription drugs was often reported, its connection to his mental health struggles have come into clearer focus. Excerpts below amplify the severity of the co-occurring disorders the former One Direction star faced — and how it impacted his life.
He Experienced Depression ‘So Many Times’
“When people get sad or depressed about themselves — as I’ve been so many times — it’s actually more for the fact because you knew you could do something and you haven’t,” Payne said in a video interview with MTV in October 2019. “This job can be quite self-loathing at some points, that you see so much of yourself all the time, that you have to be careful that everything doesn’t start to center around you, which has always been my biggest fear with any of this, really, because I hate that. I hate the thought, like, you’re always looking and evaluating absolutely everything about yourself, and it’s horrible.”
Payne explained that the “most important part of self-love is being able to talk about things to other people,” adding, “The best gift you can give yourself is to figure out that you’re not insane so that you know that you’re on the right track. Literally, it sounds so stupid, but it’s so true. I think it’s really important, you know, with mental health at the moment, we have such a thing around it because we’re starting to figure out that, actually, that needs as much taking care of as [our body does].”
He Struggled With Anxiety and Agoraphobia
Fame sometimes was more than Payne could bear, he revealed in a May 2019 interview with Esquire Middle East. “I don’t think I struggle in the sense of what you would naturally think of when I’m walking down the street with every person stopping me,” Payne said. “I mean, it happens sometimes but it’s mainly mentally where you struggle with it. It’s the getting ready and always knowing that you might be photographed.”
And he shared that he had agoraphobia — an anxiety disorder characterized by fear of being in crowded places that often manifests as panic attacks — and that it was making his everyday life challenging. “I would never leave the house. And I do sometimes suffer with it a bit in the sense that I’ll get days where I just don’t want to leave my house. Even if it’s just going to the shop,” he said. “I’d be going to order a coffee at Starbucks and I would sweat because I wouldn’t know whether I was doing the right thing or not. I would be thinking: ‘F—, I don’t want to be here.’”
These mental health struggles led Payne to turn to substances to cope.
Related: Liam Payne Remembered at 2025 Grammy Awards With One Direction Footage
The Recording Academy remembered Liam Payne during the 2025 Grammys on Sunday, February 2, nearly five months after his death. Footage of Payne during his One Direction days was shown at the top of the In Memoriam segment. His voice could be heard as music played in the background. “We never expected any of this […]
He Had Suicidal Thoughts
When talking about substance misuse on the “Diary of a CEO” podcast with Steven Bartlett in June 2021, Payne acknowledged that “suicidal ideation” was something that he also struggled to handle during his time with One Direction.
“There is some stuff that I’ve definitely never spoken about. It was really, really, really severe. It was a problem. And it was only until I saw myself after that I was like, ‘Right, I need to fix myself.’”
He said that he was one month sober at the time after not liking what he saw in the mirror. “My face was just, like, 10 times [puffier] than it is now. I just didn’t like myself very much, and then I made a change,” he said.
Kelly Osbourne on Liam Payne: ‘He Was Crying Out for Help’
Payne’s challenge with co-occurring disorders was evident to his friend Kelly Osbourne, who often talked with him about her own substance misuse and mental health. Telling Us Weekly in an exclusive interview last year that his death “hit hard,” she revealed that she thought he was in a “really good place” the last time they spoke.
“He was checking on me to make sure that I was OK and saying that if I ever needed anything that he was there, and the fact that there was nobody there for him just absolutely breaks my heart,” she said. “For somebody to be alone in that mental state, and he was crying out for help, and nobody helped him. I think that that is just beyond heartbreaking.”
To purchase The Missing Issue for $8.99 go to https://magazineshop.us/harrisproject.
If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health and/or substance use, you are not alone. Seek immediate intervention — call 911 for medical attention; 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline; or 1-800-662-HELP for the SAMHSA (Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration) National Helpline. Carrying naloxone (Narcan) can help reverse an opioid overdose.
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