NEED TO KNOW
- A mom bought brand-new school supplies for her 15-year-old son ahead of the school year
- Her ex-husband and his wife demanded the supplies be shared with her son’s step and half-siblings
- Tensions boiled over when the mom refused, leaving her ex and his wife furious
A woman seeks advice from the Reddit community following a heated family conflict about school supplies and boundaries with her ex.
She explains in her post that she has one son, who is 15, and that she and her ex split custody evenly after breaking up when their child was just 1 year old.
“We split 50-50 custody and have always purchased things for each house instead of stuff that goes between houses,” she writes. Now, she says, her ex and his new wife are struggling financially and are upset because her son received all new supplies for the school year while the other children in their home had to reuse old ones.
The woman shares that she was asked to donate school supplies to her ex’s household so all the kids could feel equal. “At first I was asked to donate supplies to them in order to show we’re all one family, which we’re not,” she explains, making it clear she does not see herself as responsible for her ex’s other children.
She emphasizes that her ex has always been protective of what he purchased in the past and never would have shared if the situation were reversed. “This would never be done if the shoe was on the other foot and he was always especially possessive of things he bought for our son when our son was younger,” she writes.
When she refused to send supplies to her ex’s home, her son took matters into his own hands. “My son decided to take none of it to his dad’s house,” she says, adding that he now finishes homework at school and leaves his belongings in his locker each day.
The ex, however, was not satisfied with this arrangement. “My ex told me I should not be okay with this. But I am. It’s not my job to buy these other kids supplies and my son NEEDS his own supplies,” the woman explains. She adds that she sees no reason her child should give up what he needs.
She says that when she pushed back, her ex suggested more supplies could simply be bought, which she found unacceptable. “I told him that’s as good as making me buy for his kids who are not mine and I told him that will never happen,” she recalls.
The situation escalated when her ex’s wife confronted her directly. “Ex’s wife told me I am a selfish c— and how f—— dare I make her kids feel like s— when they see my son with everything shiny and new and they don’t have that,” the woman writes.
In response, she told her ex’s wife that the issue was something she and her husband needed to resolve, not her.
Her ex accused her of teaching their son not to support his family. “My ex said I was teaching our son to not help [the] family and that I’m being spiteful against [the] kids,” she says. But she challenged him, asking if he would feel the same obligation if she had more children after their separation.
The exchange left her frustrated when he suggested it was “different because men always have to pay child support.” She pressed further, asking why his stepchildren did not receive child support themselves, since that could have helped cover school expenses.
“At that point the conversation ended but they are extremely hostile toward me now,” she reveals, adding that the tension has made co-parenting more difficult. Her son has also taken notice of how the conflict has shaped his relationship with his father.
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In the comments section, one reader expressed support for the woman, saying, “NTA. I am willing to bet he started the culture of separate things for separate households. Only three more years with this and you’ll be free.”
The woman agreed with that assessment and pointed out how her ex’s attitude in the past created the current dynamic. “You would be correct and he did it in the most aggressive way possible. He damaged his relationship with our son in the process too,” she writes.
For now, she remains firm in her stance that her responsibility lies only with her own child. She emphasizes that she will not be pressured into paying for or making her son share with children who are not hers.
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