NEED TO KNOW
- A teen asked his siblings for a drawing of himself with his late mother for his 16th birthday
- His stepmom, who has long hoped he would see her as a real mom, burst into tears when she saw the gift
- His father grew angry, accusing him of lashing out, but the teen insists the gift was only about wanting a connection to his late mom
A teen asked the Reddit community for advice following a heartbreaking conflict with his stepmom and dad. The 16-year-old boy shared that he recently asked his siblings for a drawing of him and his late mother as a birthday gift, a request that deeply upset his stepmom.
The teen explained that his mother passed away when he was just a baby. “Me (16m) and my siblings (24f, 22m and 21f) lost our mom 15 years ago and that means we never got to have photos of grown us with her and I never really had any that weren’t me as a literal baby,” he wrote.
Over the years, his siblings found a way to keep their mother’s memory alive through art. His oldest sister had an artist create a picture of her and their mom as if it were a recent photograph, and soon after, she had similar drawings made for her other siblings.
The teen admitted he longed for one of his own. “I was jealous of it and wanted something like that of me and mom which my siblings knew,” he explained, adding that when his birthday came up, he asked for one as a joint present.
The challenge, however, was his stepmom. She married his dad when he was 6 years old, and although she has been in their lives for a decade, none of the siblings “see her as our mom which hurts her feelings a lot because she doesn’t have any kids of her own.”
The stepmom’s pain grew worse when she discovered the drawings. The boy recalled, “When she saw my oldest sister had the drawing displayed in her house it upset her to know that she felt so strongly about mom not being here when she had her and when she realized my siblings got them too it upset her even more.”
For years, his stepmom placed her hopes in him, the youngest of the siblings, believing that because he was so little when his mother died, he might eventually view her as a mother figure. “She even said it would break her heart if I wanted one of those drawings of me and mom because it would feel like a permanent reminder that I don’t love her like my mom or connect with her the way I would a real parent,” he shared.
Still, the teen said the decision to ask for the drawing was about his feelings, not hers. “Her feelings didn’t come up in the decision for me. It was about how I felt and what I wanted,” he admitted.
When his birthday arrived, the entire family gathered for dinner, including relatives from both his mom’s and dad’s sides. That’s when his stepmom realized what the gift was. “She burst into tears when she realized what my siblings got me and even more when she realized I had asked for it and was so happy to have that,” he recalled.
His father reacted with anger toward the siblings, particularly his oldest sister. “He told my sister I was so young and if she and the rest of my siblings hadn’t influenced me I wouldn’t want something like that and would just focus on my stepmom being my mom,” the teen explained.
The teen stood his ground, telling his father he needed the drawing because he never had the chance to build memories with his mother. “He told me I didn’t need a photo like that. I told him he didn’t know what it was like. He still has both of his parents,” the teen wrote.
But his father insisted that this was the exact reason he should be grateful to have a second mom. The boy pushed back, saying, “It doesn’t work like that, it’s not the same, will never be the same, and I will always wish I had more time with my mom.”
That admission upset his stepmom even more. According to the teen, his dad accused him of “doing all this to lash out at her and punish her for unfair reasons.”
The boy tried to explain that his wishes were not meant to hurt anyone. “I told him it wasn’t even about her and never was. But that only made things worse because he said things should be about her after all this time,” he shared.
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After posting his story, commenters rallied around the teen with support. One person wrote, “Your stepmom is an entitled piece of s— for expecting you to erase the woman who gave birth to you and tragically died when you were a baby. So is your dad. Your mother lost her kids and her own life. Of course you and your siblings should cherish her and honor her memory.”
The commenter encouraged the teen to hold onto the drawing and see it for what it truly is — a way of honoring the mother he never got to know. “Keep that drawing. All this stuff that you guys do keeps your mom’s memory alive. It’s special and a beautiful thing,” they wrote.
The teen admitted that, for now, he has left the gift with his sister. “The drawing’s with my sister for now because I don’t want dad to do anything crazy or my stepmom,” he explained. “But I think dad would do it to defend her or make her feel like she he’s standing up for her.”
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