NEED TO KNOW
- A teen on Reddit is looking for support after her mom guilt-tripped her into a missing a concert to babysit her brother
- The 18-year-old claims that she’s been consistently responsible for her 6-year-old brother, despite getting ready to go off to college
- Tired of being the “default caretaker,” she’s asking if she’s wrong for trying to set boundaries with her mother
A teen is seeking support from the Reddit community after expressing her frustration with being her little brother’s primary caregiver.
The 18-year-old high school senior has been responsible for her 6-year-old brother’s care for years. In her post, the teen describes feeling like a “second mom” to her younger sibling, with responsibilities ranging from after-school care to meal preparation and homework assistance.
“Ever since he was born, I’ve been expected to babysit him after school, make him dinner sometimes, help him with homework, and basically be his default caretaker whenever my parents are busy,” she writes.
The situation reached a breaking point when the teen was forced to miss a concert by one of her favorite artists due to babysitting duties.
She recounts the conversation with her mother, saying, “When I told her I already made plans, she got really upset and said, ‘You know we rely on you for this. You can’t just abandon us last minute.’ ”
The poster’s suggestion to hire a babysitter was met with resistance, with her mother claiming they “don’t have money to waste on that,” when she’s “right here.”
The incident prompted the teen to confront her parents about the ongoing expectation of childcare. She expresses her love for her brother, but argues that it wasn’t fair to sacrifice her social life because her parents chose to have another child.
Her mother’s reaction was emotional. “She got quiet, then started crying, saying she and my dad are ‘doing their best’ and that I’m being ‘selfish and ungrateful.’ ”
While she acknowledges her parents’ hard work and need for assistance, she also feels trapped in a role she never agreed to take on. “I love my family,” she writes, “but I don’t want to feel like a parent when I’m just trying to be a teenager.”
The teen is also currently applying for colleges and trying to maintain her grades, adding to the pressure she feels to carve out time for her own pursuits.
As the poster struggles with feelings of guilt, describing herself as feeling like “the worst daughter ever,” it’s clear the situation has taken an emotional toll. Her final question further highlights her conflict as she asks, “Am I wrong for wanting my own life?”
Many Redditors have sided with the poster, encouraging her to stand her ground more. One writes, “You’re absolutely right, you’re not the one who made the choice to have another child, your parents did, and it’s up to them to raise their child.”
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Another adds, “Get your affairs in order now. Figure out your summer/college job, housing, and where you’re going to school come fall. Don’t let them pressure you to stay close by or commute from home to a local community college. You need to learn how to be an adult, and apparently, so do they.”
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