Widow Considers Giving Late Husband’s Violin to Child Instead of Troubled Niece

A woman seeks advice from the Reddit community following a difficult decision involving her late husband’s violin. The 58-year-old, who lost her husband in early spring of last year, wonders if it would be wrong to give the treasured instrument to a child who longs to learn music.

“My husband grew up playing violin,” she shares in her post. “He started in grade school, and continued to study through college, playing in his university orchestra.” She recalls how, by the time they got together, his career had taken off and he no longer played, but the instrument remained a meaningful part of his life.

Her goddaughter, whom she calls her niece, had once been promised the violin. “He told my niece before we got married, when she was still in her mid teens, that she could have it after he passed,” she explains.

The niece, now 38, was living with them at the time of his death, but her struggles have complicated that promise.

“She got involved with some bad companions and started using illegal drugs again,” the woman reveals. She explains that she had allowed her to move in, hoping she could “clean up and get her life back together,” but the situation became too unsafe to maintain.

“I allow weed in my home because it’s legal, I don’t allow anything that could compromise my freedom to vote and leave the country at will,” she writes. Concerns grew when her niece’s employer became concerned with her unreliable patterns, and she began missing court appointments related to the custody of her children.

At that point, the woman gave her an ultimatum. “I told her she needed to either get into rehab or find another place because I can’t compromise my safety, that of other friends living here, and my housemate’s kid.” Instead of seeking help, her niece lashed out.

“She snapped and told me that because I started seeing a new guy she has to forfeit any hope of custody and called me some ugly names,” the woman recalls. After that exchange, her niece left the home and has not returned.

Now, with the violin still in her possession, the woman is thinking of another way to honor her husband’s legacy. Her housemate’s child is beginning music lessons at school, but the family faces significant obstacles.

“Instrument rental shops around here are too far to access by bus, and mom lost her job last week so both rental fees and the Ubers she’d need to go to the shops are just too much,” she explains.

She describes the child as “a good kid, a good student, and really wants to learn music.” The thought of the violin sitting unused troubles her. “Giving the violin to niece on my late husband’s word alone, it would sit gathering dust somewhere,” she admits.

Instead, she believes her husband would want to see it played again. “I think my husband would appreciate the violin being actually used; he thought every kid should learn music by any means possible.” She asks the Reddit community if she would be wrong to give it to the eager child instead of her niece.

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Many commenters rally behind her decision, seeing it as both practical and deeply meaningful. One person writes, “I think giving it to the child is the right thing to do. Keep your husband’s spirit alive with the child’s music. I think it would be beautiful, especially if the child understands the sentiment behind the violin.”

Another user shares a more personal perspective, warning that the niece’s struggles may prevent the violin from being cherished. “My immediate thought was that she’d sell it,” they say. “My uncle sold so much of my grandmother’s things, for his fix, that there was basically nothing left after she passed. OP is totally NTA for giving the violin to a child who wants to use it.”

For the woman, the decision is about more than just an instrument — it is about preserving her husband’s love of music in a way that continues to inspire. As she puts it, the violin could otherwise “sit gathering dust,” but in the hands of a child, it may finally sing again.