NEED TO KNOW
- A woman said she refused to cancel a girls’ night out to spend time with her husband
- She said she had already made plans with a female friend when her husband came home early to “surprise” her
- The woman shared her story on a community forum to ask others if her decision was unreasonable
A woman is wondering if she made the right call after choosing a girls’ night over an evening with her husband.
The woman detailed her story on the “Am I Being Unreasonable?” forum on the U.K.-based community site Mumsnet.com, where women can go to seek advice from other women about a variety of topics.
In her post, the original poster (OP) explained that her 33-year-old husband has recently been working “crazy hours” in the hopes of getting a promotion.
“He has done so for the past three or four months. I accept it as it’s not forever,” she said.
The OP went on to say that they recently had a date night scheduled, but her husband canceled it the morning of because he said he had to work late. She admitted that while she found the change of plans “annoying,” she made the best of it and “ended up convincing a friend to go out for drinks.”
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However, she said that her husband ended up coming home at “around 7 p.m.” that evening in order to “surprise her.” She said that when she told him she had already made new plans with a friend — and that the friend had already left to come into the city on a train — he urged her to cancel.
“[He said] things like, ‘Go on — come up with an excuse’ [and] ‘It’s been ages since we last spent time together,’ “ she said.
The OP said that she followed through with her plan to meet up with the friend, but when she recounted the incident to her mother, her mom said she “should have prioritized my husband and marriage.”
The vast majority of commenters reassured the woman that her decision was not unreasonable — and a number noted that she was being a good friend.
“Not unreasonable! I’d be fuming if I was the friend who was canceled on when I’m already on my way,” one person said.
Another person said, “I wouldn’t have canceled on my friend. Your friend stepped up last minute and got on a train to do something with you, so to cancel would have been mean.”
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The same person added, “I probably would have felt guilty when my husband tried to do something nice, but to be honest my partner wouldn’t want me to cancel on a friend in this situation either!”
“You can’t cancel if she’s already on her way … that’s awful,” said someone else.
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