- A Reddit user shared that her mother-in-law is overstepping boundaries when it comes to her grandson
- The 23-year-old woman said she’s “so tired of literally fighting to be THE MOTHER to my son”
- A reader replied, “You need to go mama bear on her”
A young mom is fed up with her fiancé’s mother’s “possessive behavior.”
The 23-year-old woman explained on Reddit’s “Am I the A——” forum that when she packs food for her babysitter to feed her baby boy, the food goes to waste because her future mother-in-law tells the sitter to use the groceries she buys instead. Because of this, the woman no longer wants to “buy him groceries as the food I pack is just left untouched.”
“My MIL was VERY involved in my pregnancy, which I was very thankful for,” she wrote of her 24-year-old fiancé’s mom. “When I gave birth [last summer], that support turned into possessive behavior.”
“I have addressed this several times with my fiancé,” she continued, adding that no positive changes have been made over time. “My relationship was GREAT with my MIL up until she kinda started to play mommy with my son. I’ve set boundaries and somehow they apply to everyone but her.”
She noted that the babysitting sessions happen at her mother-in-law’s house — with another family member serving as the boy’s babysitter.
“My MIL IS NOT my babysitter,” she emphasized, saying this food issue started when the baby began eating solids. “She will buy groceries for my son and has introduced foods. I am at a point where I don’t want to buy him groceries as the food I pack is just left untouched.”
“I have told my babysitter to feed what I pack but then she tells me she was told there was food for him my MIL bought,” the woman wrote.
In an update to her original post, the woman clarified that “I will still buy my son his groceries for our home” and for the babysitting sessions she “would have my MIL use/buy food instead of me packing his meals.”
As a solution, the woman said she started taking her baby to her own mother’s home, a 30-minute commute each way, so that the mother-in-law “won’t have any control over him.”
“I am very disappointed and feel like I am going into extremes, but I’m just so tired of literally fighting to be THE MOTHER to my son,” she admitted.
Seeking reassurance, the woman asked Redditors, “Am I the a——?”
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Her post has attracted hundreds of responses, with some readers telling her she’s “NTA [not the a——]” but to be stricter about her boundaries.
“NTA, but you are kind of AH [a——] adjacent, if for no other reason than you seem to floundering between what you need to do and what you want to do,” one person replied. “You need to go mama bear on her. Stop trying to get your husband to handle her. He won’t. Stop thinking she will magically become the MIL you once knew. That was an act to placate you until she could get her hands on your kid. Your baby deserves better.”
“This is what motherhood is. Nothing is more important than protecting your child,” that reader continued. “You are the mother. She is the grandmother. Both of you need to remember your roles.”
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