NEED TO KNOW
- A woman had to pack for a bachelorette trip, but her boyfriend spontaneously bought them movie tickets — so she simply told him she’d need time to pack afterwards
- After the movie, the boyfriend said she only had 15 minutes to pack before he’d lock her out of the bedroom, and lashed out when she protested
- Now the woman feels he may have been “punishing” her for having plans that don’t center on him
A woman is questioning her boyfriend’s intentions after he lashed out over a relatively small issue.
In a post on Reddit, the woman explained that she had been planning a bachelorette weekend with her friends “for a while,” but believes her boyfriend is “punishing” her for having plans that don’t include him. Now, she’s wondering if this incident is a sign of larger manipulative behavior.
On the day she needed to pack for her trip, the woman’s boyfriend, whom she calls “H,” bought them tickets to go to the movies. It was a bit out of the blue, the woman wrote, but still, she was happy for the quality time with him.
So, she simply let H know she’d need to pack after the movie since the date was cutting into her time to prep for the trip.
However, it turns out, he didn’t leave her much time, as they got home “late” despite her “tight schedule” the next morning.
After they returned from the film, H told her she had just 15 minutes to pack “or he’s locking [her] out of the bedroom.” When she protested, he lapsed into a “meltdown.”
“When I tried to explain I wasn’t trying to inconvenience him, his response was: ‘I don’t care if it’s not your intention, you’re still doing it,'” the woman recalls. “That line really stuck with me. It feels like he’s punishing me for having plans that don’t revolve around him.”
She added, “Part of me thinks he planned the movie as a way to eat into my prep time so he could hold it against me afterward.”
The woman’s instinct was that her boyfriend was being “manipulative and controlling,” but she sought out the opinions of other Reddit users for a fresh perspective.
Commenters widely agreed that the boyfriend’s behavior seemed toxic and suggested he didn’t know how to effectively express his emotions.
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“You’re not his parent. He needs to emotionally mature,” one wrote. “And maybe this is a time to also reflect on how being with someone who reacts like this makes you feel.”
“He seems unable or unwilling to communicate calmly and directly with you – especially, it seems, when he has fears or his ego is bruised,” another added.
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