A woman is upset with her “rich boyfriend” for telling her how to budget her money.
In a post on Reddit’s “Am I The A——?” forum, the 24-year-old wrote that she and boyfriend have been together for three and a half years and are moving in together come June.
“I have some money in savings, so I am planning to use that to survive and pay rent the next few months,” the woman began.
Then explaining that her boyfriend learned of her plan and “was trying to be helpful and help me create a budget,” the woman said, however, that he “kept overstepping and making me feel stupid.”
“I don’t think this was his intentions, but I felt very frustrated, and I told him to back off, as I felt he just couldn’t understand,” she continued.
Providing “context,” the woman said that her boyfriend “makes a ton of money, has a trust fund, a huge inheritance coming his way in a few years, and he receives from his parents yearly THREE TIMES the amount I am trying to survive on for the next six months.”
“So financially, we are on different planets,” she added.
According to the woman, she was working out a budget on her much lower income when her partner made a comment she wasn’t happy with.
“He said something along the lines of, ‘You’re lucky I love you and am paying more for rent because it’s not really equal,’ ” the woman said.
Detailing that her boyfriend will pay two-thirds of the rent based on “his income, family money and my debt,” which she said they “agreed on,” she continued, “I kind of lost it on him. I told him he has no idea what it’s like and his advice means nothing to me because he comes at it with such a sense of privilege.”
The woman added: “Of course he took this the wrong way and stormed out and said not to talk to him.”
The woman then wrote that she has since apologized to her boyfriend for the comment she made.
“My hard situation is that I am in graduate school and am getting paid via grants (very little amounts). It’s confusing,” she said. “He was trying to help me be less stressed and had really good intentions.”
Still, the woman explained, “I felt like he wouldn’t let me figure it out on my own despite me saying over and over I wanted to, because, frankly, he was just making me more stressed. He has not and never has made any comments about what I spend my money on.”
“I am financially literate and have a lot in savings, I am good with money overall. I just have been in school now for 7 years for an advanced degree and at the moment am low on funds,” added the woman.
In the comments section of the Reddit post, many came to the woman’s defense.
“I don’t think the income is the issue. It is about power. The one with the money does by default unless they stay vigilant,” one user wrote.
“He needs to hear how to discuss things and she needs to say something bland like, ‘Thanks for the suggestion.’ They need to get this on the table right now with an expert who knows how to defuse things,” they continued.
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“I can only imagine how many times that comment is going to be thrown in her face when he’s frustrated,” added another, telling the woman she should “pump the brakes on the moving in.”
“He’s already characterizing you as a burden and a mooch. He will continue to weaponize his financial position over you. That will only get worse,” that user continued.
In response, the woman told those in the comments section: “I just have confusing income right now as I am only making money on grants in graduate school and the way I’m paid is confusing and weird. He kept pressuring me to get a hold on it, and he is right, I do need to.”
She added, “He was not telling me to spend less on things I enjoy or anything like that. It just was constant pressure and I kept telling him I would figure it out, but he kept butting in until I snapped.”
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