Woman Gets the ‘Ick’ from Rent-Free Boyfriend Who Refuses to Split Grocery Costs Fairly

A couple in their 30s is at odds over how to fairly divide their living expenses.

The woman explains on Reddit that her boyfriend is moving into her apartment, which she owns, so he won’t have to pay rent. Instead, he agreed to cover the building maintenance, utilities such as Wifi and electricity and the annual property taxes, which are around $500 per year.

The woman told him that she would cover the cost of all “cat-related expenses,” since she has three cats while her boyfriend only has one.

Once they got to the conversation around groceries, that’s when things “started spiraling.”

“I told him I thought it made sense for it to be a 70/30 split—he pays more. He asked, ‘Who’s the 70?’ I said, You.’ He was like, ‘Why not 50/50?’ I said, ‘Because you eat three times more than I do,'” she recalls.

“He didn’t love that answer and started pulling the ‘partnerships should be 50/50’ card. I told him 60/40 was the lowest I’d go,” she adds.

While they initially dropped it, the man “started making snarky comments like: ‘Honestly, I only eat dinner here anyway… do youre only going to be paying for cat stuff?’ ”

His behavior gave her the “ick.”

“You’re living here RENT-FREE, in a clean, comfy, fully-furnished home I maintain myself. I’m here most of the time, so the space is always stocked, cleaned, cozy, and I’m offering all of that to you with love,” the woman explains. 

She then went on to say that she likes “a man who provides,” or “at least contributes more when he’s stepping into my space.”

While he makes “a bit more” money than the poster, she noted that it’s not a “huge gap,” so she doesn’t “expect full-provider status.”

“Now I can’t stop wondering if I’m signing up to live with a roommate or a boyfriend. The vibe has shifted. And I kind of hate that it did,” she ended, asking Reddit if she is in the wrong.

People in the comments of the post told the woman she was being more than fair with her expectations, with many agreeing that the man could contribute more.

“Better question is, why is she letting him move in without paying his share on everything? Including rent,” one person commented. 

“If the argument is for fairness, then full fairness should apply across the board. You can’t push for a 50/50 grocery split while ignoring the massive financial benefit of living rent-free. True equity means accounting for the whole picture, not just the convenient parts,” another person added.