- A woman in her 40s found herself called out by a friend she’s known since middle school at a recent house party
- The woman, who documented the exchange on Reddit, said that her friend was upset she didn’t compliment her recent drastic weight loss
- The poster added that her friend had previously discouraged compliments on any weight fluctuations
A woman is confused after her friend called her out at a house party for not complimenting her on her weight loss journey.
Wondering if she’s in the wrong, the woman detailed what led to this unexpected rift in her friendship with a woman she calls “Kelly” on Reddit’s “Am I the A——?” forum.
“While at a party thrown at my house, one of the guests who had not seen Kelly in awhile complimented her for working hard and losing weight,” she recalled. “Kelly responded, ‘At least someone is happy for me. My so-called friend has not said anything about it and does not seem to care.’ ”
“I was taken aback and reminded her what she told me about praise,” she continued, referring to Kelly’s past comments about how she feels self-conscious or gets discouraged whenever she would receive compliments because “she feels like she is being treated differently.”
The 40-year-old woman — who has been friends with Kelly, 41, since middle school — added that Kelly “said I was just being a jerk” and that “I felt jealous about her meeting her goals.”
The woman also provided context about Kelly’s weight loss journey.
“She has been overweight for most of her life. Her highest was around 350 lbs. … I’ve been mostly around the 150 to 180 lb. range since high school,” she explained. “Kelly has tried over the years all the diet trends you can think of and nothing really has worked. She will get going pretty well and then stop and gain the weight back.”
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Throughout all this, the woman said she provided praise — up until Kelly mentioned to her not to do that anymore.
“A little over a year ago, she really went all in. No fads or quick fixes. Just changed her eating habits, committed to a walking plan and strength training … so proud of her,” the woman said, before asking whether she “should have found a way to cheer her on” despite being told not to do so.
Her April 20 Reddit post has already attracted more than 300 responses, with most people reassuring her that she’s “NTA [not the a——].”
“She’s ridiculous for publicly calling you out at a party instead of coming to you as a friend and saying, ‘Hey, this hurt my feelings,’ ” one person replied. “Is this out of character for her? … I can imagine a change like that throwing someone off-kilter and bringing up unexpected emotions as they learn to navigate the world in a new body.”
The OP (original poster) replied to the comment, “That is my thing too. I am not sure how one feels being her size and get treated differently. So, maybe there should have been some sympathy. I just did not want her to stop progress for health reasons.”
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