NEED TO KNOW
- A woman says her in-laws refer to everything she does as “bougie” or “fancy” — and she doesn’t know how to respond
- In a post on Reddit, the woman writes that her in-laws make “constant” comments about what she wears
- Now, she’s seeking advice on how to handle the situation
A woman says her in-laws refer to everything she does as “bougie” or “fancy” — and she’s had enough.
In a post shared to Reddit, she writes that her in-laws “grew up very poor,” and admits she likes “nice things,” but has worked hard to get where she is.
“But my in-laws literally call everything that I do or everything that I buy bougie or fancy,” she adds in the post. “If they said this once or twice then I would find it more playful, but it’s CONSTANT. I’m talking every single time I see them, one of them makes this comment.”
She offers one example that took place during a recent vacation to a lake, when she didn’t go swimming due to frigid temperatures.
“My nephew says, ‘She’s not getting in cause she’s a city slicker’…like what does not wanting to be cold have to do with being a city slicker??” she writes. “Which I am not. Like do I not live in the country in the same house as my husband?? I do.”
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In another recent instance, the woman visited a winery with her husband and in-laws and wore a “very simple maxi dress.” Her sister-in-law immediately said she was “so fancy” and brought “enough bougie for the whole family.”
“If anyone else in the family gets something nice or new, nobody bats an eye and just is supportive and says normal things like, ‘Wow that’s nice,’ or ‘Congrats,’ or whatever. It’s only directed at me, which makes it feel like a put-down, especially since it happens every time I see them,” she adds.
She continues: “I truly don’t understand why they do this and am looking for advice/opinions on how I should respond. I don’t want them to know it bothers me because it’ll either make them do it more or then I’m being sensitive. I’ve tried flat-out ignoring it but that hasn’t worked, my husband has tried giving it back/leaning into it, but that hasn’t stopped it either. I feel like I can’t have anything nice or try to look nice, etc. around them or it’s going to be ridiculed or judged and that’s ridiculous.”
Other Reddit users are encouraging the woman to keep a distance from her in-laws.
“Just limit interactions with people who have a chip on their shoulder,” writes one commenter.
Adds another: “Lean into being very bougie. What’s wrong with it? Nothing. It’s not my style but I totally think people should embrace what makes them happy. If they comment, I’d call them out.”
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