- A woman shared on the U.K. community forum Mumsnet.com that she “offended” her husband of eight years by asking for a bigger diamond to upgrade her engagement ring
- She cited several reasons why she wants a flashier stone, including the fact that “we live in a world where everyone compares to others in some way” and she’s “envious” of other people’s rings
- In the comments, many people accused the woman of focusing more on her ring’s monetary value rather than its sentimental value
A woman says she “offended” her husband by asking for an upgrade to her engagement ring.
She shared her story in a post on the U.K. community forum Mumsnet.com, beginning by explaining that she and her husband have been married for eight years and when they got engaged, he popped the question with a “thoughtful proposal.” At the time, she noted, he got “the best ring he could afford,” and she was “grateful for that.”
Years later, however, she isn’t feeling as content with her ring. “I hate to admit this … but I want a bigger diamond,” she wrote, explaining some of her reasons why she wants some flashier bling.
“I think it would suit my hand size and finger shape better. Plus, diamonds look so pretty — I just want that ‘wow’ factor,” she explained.
She also admitted that she wants a bigger diamond as a way to keep up with the Joneses.
“There’s no doubt that diamonds have got bigger (and cheaper), so it feels like everyone has a rock these days,” she wrote. “We live in a world where everyone compares to others in some way.”
“And when I see other people’s rings,” she continued, “I am often a bit envious. I suppose it’s like houses, cars comparisons, etc. I’m not proud of it.”
The woman said that when she spoke to her husband about the idea of getting a larger diamond for her ring, he “was understandably a bit offended.”
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Now, she is feeling conflicted about having made the request. “Felt like the worst person ever, but I guess I had to be honest,” she wrote, concluding her post by asking fellow Mumsnet users, “Has anyone else ever felt this way?”
In the comments, many people sympathized with the woman’s husband, telling the woman she was wrong to express dissatisfaction with her ring.
“Your ring represents your fella working hard and buying what he could afford (not going stupidly into debt for something else), and doing a loving, thoughtful proposal. I’d be much happier with that than with a big ring which represented nothing but having more money,” one person wrote.
The same commenter added: “I know comparison is an instinct, but there’s a reason why they call it the thief of joy.”
Others reminded the woman that an engagement ring is about so much more than its monetary value.
“I would want the ring that my partner chose for me, with all the nerves of proposing coursing through him, at a time he was so in love with me he wanted me to be his wife, not a status symbol,” one reader wrote.
Another agreed, commenting: “You are valuing the money value over the emotional value. Sorry, I think you’ve been shallow and hurtful. I don’t blame him for being offended — he has every right.”
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Yet another person chimed in, “It does read like showing off and keeping up with others is more important to you than sentimentality.”
Someone else suggested that if a bigger diamond is so important to the woman, she should “buy yourself one.”
A small minority of commenters took a different stance, sharing their opinion that wanting a bigger diamond isn’t being “shallow.”
“I don’t really see the issue. Tastes change with time, so do finances,” one person wrote. “I got a new wedding band and engagement ring when we were 10 years married. I thought it represented a milestone. Don’t think my husband batted an eyelid.”
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