NEED TO KNOW
- A woman says her ex-husband got her parents in their divorce
- In a post on Reddit, she writes that her ex now takes vacations with her parents, while her relationship with them has soured
- Now, she questions how to move forward
A woman says she got a divorce — and her parents chose her ex over her.
In a post on Reddit titled “My ex got my parents in the divorce,” she writes that she has been divorced for nine years and she and her ex-husband have two children together.
“I had a bit of a difficult childhood. My father was very ‘my way or the highway’ my entire child[hood] and adult life,” she wrote. “I was a child competitive athlete with my father as my coach and not much time for anything else including understanding how to function normally in society.”
After getting married, her relationship fell apart – in part due to her hectic schedule, she explained, and due to her husband cheating and “dropping our children off at my parents house claiming he had to go to work early (I worked night shift) so they would be better to sleep there.”
“He would drop them off and drive down the street to his girlfriend’s house and stay with her,” she alleged.
After their divorce, she tried to move on while her ex “moved in with his girlfriend and I struggled as a single mom, ultimately needing to rely on my parents again for help.”
“Well, my dad sunk his claws into my children and they also became child athletes. I did NOT want that life for them, but remember I was pretty desperately in need of help and in my head I rationalized it away. Years go by, I become a successful professional, the divorce pain fades and my ex and I are actually friendly,” she wrote.
But later, when she met a new man, got married, and moved 45 minutes away, her husband took her to court and asked for custody.
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“It got very ugly after that. My parents got involved and basically sided with my ex husband who lived down the street so they could have full access to them 24/7 (for training purposes),” she wrote. “I sat down with my husband and them at their kitchen table one day and flat out asked them if they were on my side or his and they said ‘it would be better for us if the kids lived with him.’ That was an absolute gut punch.”
Her ex did not win his court case, though, and the kids now stay with her for the most part. While the situation cooled down, she was unable to forgive her parents.
“They would still spend time with my ex husband and even went on more than one vacation with him. I told my parents how much this was hurting me and asked them to just take a step back from him so we could work on our relationship,” she explained. “They refused and said they couldn’t do that because he was ‘family.’ ”
She continued, “A few years of therapy and more hurt feelings and I eventually decided they didn’t have a place in my life anymore. They see my daughters through my ex husband, but my husband and I now have a child, and he does not see my parents at all.”
Many Reddit users noted that while losing her parents was undoubtedly hard, it was probably for the better.
“Yikes, your parents are not very good people are they? Though I don’t think they actually like your ex, rather use him to spend time with the kids. Regardless, they are awful,” one user wrote.
“So glad you got away from your parents and are in a good marriage,” another added.
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