NEED TO KNOW
- A woman and her fiancé are uncomfortable with their mutual friend’s girlfriend messaging him privately
- The girlfriend’s texts weren’t flirty at first, but recently they’ve grown increasingly suggestive
- Though the fiancé is transparent with the woman, she can’t shake the feeling of distrust towards the girlfriend
A Reddit user is suspicious of another woman getting flirty with her fiancé, despite them all being friends.
The 29-year-old woman opened up about the uncomfortable situation between her 30-year-old fiancé and his childhood friend’s girlfriend in a post on Reddit.
“I need to get this off my chest because it’s been bothering me a lot and I don’t know if I’m overreacting or trusting my gut,” she begins.
She explained that the two couples are in a group chat together, but the 27-year-old girlfriend continuously and consistently messages her fiancé privately, while making no effort to build a connection with her.
In the past, the girlfriend’s messages weren’t “explicitly flirty” but rather random questions and comments that, in the poster’s mind, would have been just as suited for the group chat.
“She’s extremely friendly to me and I like hanging out all together. Yet, If we’re all supposed to be friends, why is she building a connection only with him privately but not me?” she questions.
While the poster has been letting it slide, recently, the messages have taken a suggestive turn.
On the fiancé’s birthday, the girlfriend stayed up late so she could be “the first one to wish him a happy birthday.”
“Something about that just really upset me. It felt so intentional, like she wanted to insert herself in a way that made her feel close to him,” the poster explains.
At a separate time, the girlfriend also texted the woman’s fiancé, saying she wanted “to hang out with him with or without her boyfriend.”
“That sentence keeps playing in my head,” the woman writes. “Who says that to someone else’s fiancé?”
The poster notes that her partner has been very transparent and always shows her the messages and asks how to respond.
While her fiancé is equally “uncomfortable” with the situation, he doesn’t want to complicate the dynamic between the four of them – him, his fiancée, his friend and the girlfriend.
Still, now he’s set a “clear boundary:” whenever the girlfriend texts him, he’ll send his reply in the group chat.
But it’s not about trusting her fiancé, the poster notes — it’s about trusting the girlfriend.
“I can’t stop feeling disrespected and honestly, [on] high alert. It’s a mind game because nothing she’s saying is overtly inappropriate, but I’m not getting a good gut feeling about her,” she writes. “She’s seemingly happy in her relationship so why is she going to my fiancé for random things?”
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Those in the comments agreed, noting that they were willing to give the girlfriend the benefit of the doubt until she asked to hang out alone with him.
“I could see her sending him non-flirty texts about specific topics that are career related, but the part about wanting to hang out with just him and maybe her [boyfriend] — to the exclusion of you — is troubling,” one wrote. “I’d be suspicious as well.”
Another suggested the girlfriend is “playing a long, low-stakes game” — establishing a connection with the fiancé should either one of their relationships end.
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