- Woman says that her ex-boyfriend of seven years is demanding over $25,000 because he contributed to household expenses during their seven-year relationship.
- The woman says that her boyfriend was in debt when they first met, and he paid less than $800 towards rent and expenses combined for the first several years they lived together.
- The “heartbroken” woman, who detailed her story on a U.K.-based community site, says she just wants to do what is “morally right.”
A woman is torn over what to do after her ex-boyfriend asked her to reimburse over $25,000 because he contributed to household expenses in her home throughout their seven-year relationship.
The woman — who admits she is “heartbroken” — detailed her experience on the “Am I Being Unreasonable?” forum on the U.K.-based community site Mumsnet. In her post, the woman shared that she and her ex are now “struggling to reach a fair financial separation.”
“When we met, he had been made redundant and as a result had 5 figure debts,” she said. “Over the years, he since built a successful career, paid off his debts, and gained a degree, while I also progressed in my career and completed a master’s degree.”
The woman revealed that he inherited over $25,000 during that time, which he “spent on a holiday” for himself.
She explained that her ex initially paid approximately $555 per month when he first moved into her home in 2021 but the amount increased to about $785 in 2022. He eventually took over the entire $1,300 monthly mortgage payment “about 20 months ago” and “continued to pay around [$520] towards bills.”
“Now, he’s asking for [about $25,000] back, saying that’s what he has contributed to the mortgage,” the woman said. She added that while they never had a legal agreement in place regarding expenses, she wants to do “the morally right thing.”
“What do I owe him?” she asked at the end of her post.
The vast majority of commenters agreed that the woman should not feel as though she owes her ex anything, especially because he would have had to pay rent regardless of whether or not he had been living with her.
“Nil. Zilch. Zero. Don’t be bullied into paying him a penny,” said one person.
“You owe him absolutely nothing. Tell him to take you to court and a judge would tell him the same thing. Unless his name is on the mortgage he has no entitlement to any payment. He was essentially paying rent to you to live in your house,” another person said.
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“He lived very cheaply until 20 months ago. Calculate the going rent and back charge the greedy sod,” added someone else.
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Others said that while the woman’s ex isn’t technically entitled to money, there is perhaps a fair middle ground should she choose to reimburse him some of his costs.
“I would pay half the mortgage payment he took over 20 [months] ago so that you contributed to the roof over your heads equally during that time. […] The early money he paid you was a contribution to a roof over his head. Life would have been a lot more expensive for him had he had to rent a place and pay bills,” one person wrote.
They added, “He has made no complaint, asked for no contract all these years. […] If he wants out now, fine, but he seems to have no right to take your money with him.”
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