A woman was “shocked” to find out that her friend was planning a “fake” wedding for the purposes of getting gifts and generating social media content.
In a post on Reddit’s “Wedding Shaming” forum, the woman began by explaining that she was asked to be a bridesmaid in the wedding and “had a dress and everything.” But eight months before the nuptials, the supposed bride-to-be confessed that she and her partner were not actually going to get married — at least legally.
“[She said she] wanted to do it for social media and for gifts,” the woman wrote. “I was shocked and appalled. Her reasons for not wanting to actually legally marry him were crazy.”
After learning this, the woman decided to bail on the “wedding” — and the friendship.
“Long story short, I told her I couldn’t stand up in her wedding knowing all of this, and immediately resold my bridesmaid dress and never talked to her again,” she shared, adding, “It’s crazy the extent people will go to… I often wonder if she went through with this sham of a ‘wedding.’ ”
The woman later edited her post to provide some clarification about the would-be groom and his knowledge of what was happening. “He didn’t know about this. He thought they’d be legally married. She told me she was never going to send [the marriage license] in.”
In the comments, she also shared some of her former friend’s reasons for not wanting the marriage to be legal.
“A couple were: ‘His credit score isn’t high enough. His job isn’t good enough. It’s an easy way out for me when I decide to end it with him. He doesn’t have money for a house. He travels so much.’ And these two fought nonstop and had a toxic relationship in my opinion,” she wrote.
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Among the fellow Redditors who weighed in on the situation in the comments, many shared that they could understand the friend’s point of view.
“I think there is a universe where your friend made the right choice for her. So many people just want a wedding and end up marrying the wrong person as a result,” one person wrote. “Maybe she knew herself and knew she just wanted a wedding, even though committing to that person for the rest of her life was a mistake.”
The same commenter added: “Not saying having a wedding just for the pictures and gifts is the right thing to do, but maybe this is an okay second choice, or at least better than actually getting married just because you want a wedding.”
Another person agreed, writing, “If one of my friends did this, I’d kind of think it was great. So many people rush into marriage because they want the social status of a wedding or it’s the time in their life they feel they ought to.”
However, someone else countered, “But they should be honest about the fact that the actual ‘marriage’ aspect of the wedding isn’t real. That way, it allows people to decide for themselves if they want to front the cost for travel/gifts and/or even be in attendance.”
One Redditor even pointed out that the friend’s wedding might not have been as “fake” as she believed.
“Your friend should double check the laws where she lives,” they advised. “In the state of Iowa, that counts as a common law marriage and they are legally married in the eyes of the law, because they present themselves as a married couple in public; people have reason to believe they are a married couple; and they cohabitate and have shared interest in the same household.”
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