NEED TO KNOW
- A woman is questioning whether her husband is in the wrong for being upset that their daughter is planning to change her last name after her same-sex wedding
- In a post shared on the U.K.-based community forum Mumsnet, the woman wrote about her daughter’s upcoming nuptials to her soon-to-be wife and shared her daughter’s intention to take her wife’s last name
- “Is [my husband] being unreasonable for being upset and not understanding why [our] daughter’s chosen to take her wife’s name?” she asked, seeking advice
A woman is questioning whether her husband is in the wrong for being upset that their daughter is planning to change her last name after her same-sex wedding.
In a post shared on the U.K.-based community forum Mumsnet, the woman opened up about her daughter’s upcoming nuptials to her soon-to-be wife — and shared her daughter’s intention to take her wife’s last name, rather than keeping their family name.
“[Our daughter] is planning on getting married to her wife later [this] year. [She] has said she plans to take her wife’s surname,” the woman wrote.
“[My husband] is upset that she hasn’t kept her own name or gone double-barreled,” the mother of the bride added, referring to her daughter hyphenating her last name. “He hasn’t said anything, though, just to me.”
“What do other people do who have same-sex weddings re: names?” the woman asked fellow Mumsnet users. “Is [my husband] being unreasonable for being upset and not understanding why [our] daughter’s chosen to take her wife’s name?”
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In the comments section, readers were quick to state that although many same-sex couples choose to keep their own last names, the choice is a personal one. They said it’s up to the couple’s daughter to decide if she wants to take her wife’s last name upon their marriage.
“I think your husband is being unreasonable because it has nothing to do with him what her new name is,” one person weighed in. “It’s a decision between a married couple (no matter what sex they are) and no one else.”
“Perhaps they want a ‘family name’ for if they have children so the child shares a name with both parents?” another commenter posited, before advising the woman, “Stay out of it — if she’s happy with changing her name, that’s all that matters.”
Another commenter suggested it might be beneficial for the whole family to sit down and have a conversation about why their daughter wants to take her wife’s name.
“Is your husband having trouble getting his head around his daughter having a same-sex marriage? Has your daughter been asked why the couple are opting to take her partner’s surname?” another person asked.
“It could lead to a helpful [resolution] if discussed in an open, interested way,” the same person continued. “There are several possible reasons, including preferring the sound of the future wife’s name, disliking a [hyphenated] name or your daughter wanting her marriage to have a fresh start with a new name.”
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