NEED TO KNOW
- A woman shared on the community forum Mumsnet that she recently moved into a new house and doesn’t want her “rude” and “intrusive” aunt to visit
- She explained that her aunt is always asking “nosy” questions about her life, her finances and more
- The woman asked readers if she’s wrong to not want her aunt to see her new home
A woman has had enough of her aunt’s “nosy” behavior.
She shared her story in a post on the U.K.-based community forum Mumsnet, explaining that she and her husband recently bought a new home — and she’s not keen about her aunt visiting because of her propensity to ask prying personal questions.
“My aunty is very nosy and I’m not sure if IABU [I am being unreasonable] or if it is just how the older generation are,” the OP (original poster) wrote. “She will always ask about work and how much money I make, how much money I have in the bank, etc. I find this really rude and intrusive.”
She said that now that she has a new house, she knows her aunt and uncle “will want to visit to have a good nose [around] and ask a bunch of questions.”
“I am not really comfortable with this, and DH [dear husband] finds them both rude. It is harmless — it’s just more annoying than anything else,” the OP wrote.
She shared that her mom’s theory on the situation is that her aunt “hates the thought of anyone else in the family earning more money than her own kids and having a better house.”
The OP noted that when she previously purchased a new car, her aunt asked her mom a series of questions such as what the make of the vehicle was and how much it cost — behavior she found “very weird.”
Seeking advice and opinions, she concluded her post by asking, “[Am I being unreasonable] to not want them to come round?”
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In the comments, many people agreed with the OP’s mom’s suggestion that her aunt sees everything as a competition within the family.
“Your mum is right. People who are that intrusive and want all the details are desperate to make sure you’re not doing better financially than they are. One-upmanship is a boring game, and I really wouldn’t want to bother with her,” one person wrote.
Several commenters advised the OP to be direct with her aunt and firmly tell her that such personal questions make her uncomfortable.
“If they do come round, and that’s a big if, then when they start asking just say please stop asking so many personal questions, we are private people and these conversations are getting boring now. Hopefully, they’ll get upset and just go home,” one person said.
Yet another commenter chimed in: “If she challenges you about not telling her about your financial status or inviting her to your new home, I’d be tempted to be honest and say it’s a lose-lose situation for you as, due to her fixation on finances and her constantly pitting family members against each other, she will either gloat if her kids have more or be annoyed if you do.”
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“You don’t have to answer her questions and you don’t have to have her in your house,” they added.
Someone else even suggested that the OP turn the tables on her aunt to make her point.
“Any questions they ask about your bank balance etc., be sure to fire the same questions right back at them. They’ll soon get the message,” they wrote.
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