Woman Says She Is ‘Disappointed’ by Her Partner’s Reaction After Their Friend Shoved Her at His Birthday Party: ‘No Excuse’

A woman is feeling let down by her partner for how he reacted when their friend got physical with her at a birthday party.

In a post on the U.K.-based forum Mumsnet, the woman said she recently threw a celebration for her partner “with all his friends and family,” and it “went off (largely) without a hitch.”

However, she explained that things took a turn for the worse when a couple they “are both very good friends with” showed up.

Detailing that the pair “are currently going through a divorce,” the woman continued, “It’s largely amicable, however, the husband has started drinking quite a bit more and can get very aggressive.”

Adding that the man is “loud and quite broad,” the woman also said he can be “quite traditional when it comes to gender roles, but this only ever seems to be picked up by women and not the men in his life.”

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According to the woman, she and the man have “always had an odd relationship” and there have been tense moments, including times when she’s criticized him “for how he’s spoken to me or his wife.”

One such occurrence happened during the birthday party for her partner, the woman said, as the man “started drinking quite heavily and being quite loud and obnoxious to other guests” as soon as he and his soon-to-be ex-wife arrived.

At one point during the event, the woman was checking in on all the guests to make sure they were doing okay. But, when she got to the man’s table, the woman said, “He turned to me, told me to ‘f— off’ and with both hands shoved me so hard I almost lost my footing.”

Detailing that “only a couple of people” saw the altercation, the woman pushed it aside until she and her partner returned to their home later that night.

“I was a little disappointed at his reaction,” she wrote, adding that her partner defended the man because “he’s going through a divorce” and “his mom just died.”

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Still, the woman told her partner that “there was no excuse” and she “could have been seriously hurt.” She also told him that she was going to address the incident with the friend and how she felt she “deserved an apology” if her partner didn’t do it himself.

But, “two weeks” went by, because the woman said her partner “struggles with confrontation” — despite being her “biggest champion” and “a wonderful person.”

“I told him his response showed how he’s prioritizing his friendship over me, and that if he’d just dealt with it immediately, then we would have already moved on,” the woman wrote. “But I’m still not convinced he even gets my perspective on this, and it’s really making me rethink our relationship for the first time in a very long time.”

As the woman concluded her post by writing that “even having to ask him is giving me a case of the ick,” she was met with mixed reactions from other Mumsnet users.

“I can see why you are disappointed — I would not be happy with this kind of aggressive behavior, being ignored and minimized,” one person wrote.

Another agreed, stating, “It’s absolutely the man’s job to stand in for his partner and address it and say something. It’s normal!”

Others, meanwhile, felt that the woman should have said something at the party and resolved the issue in the moment, rather than wait for her significant other to do so later.

“You said you’d raise it if your partner didn’t. He hasn’t, so why haven’t you? You avoided confrontation at the party, and he’s avoiding it now,” said one commenter.