A woman is altering her Christmas plans to exclude her boyfriend’s sister after she says they got into a recent spat over style.
The 26-year-old woman shared in a post on Reddit’s popular “Am I The A——” forum that she and her boyfriend Alex were planning to host a Christmas dinner with both of their families, but things got derailed when she and Alex’s sister Sally, 26, got into a “stupid argument.”
She prefaced the post by saying the pair shared a love for dressing “gothic” and have “numerous facial and ear piercings.” However, the woman added that she “no longer dress[es] as gothic or dark as I used to“ and that she removed all her piercings “a few years ago.”
When she went to meet up with Sally, she said she wore a nose ring with a double ring, which made it look like she had two piercings — something that her brother’s sister was unhappy with.
“When I met up with her, she noticed my piercing and asked if I got a new one in and I said no. She then got really weird and quite mean,” the woman said, adding that Sally called her “a f****** poser.” “She said some other comments saying it really didn’t suit me and I’d be better going back to being a ‘pretend happy person.’”
“It actually really hurt my feelings and I don’t know where it came from. It was like she was gatekeeping a certain way of looking,” she continued. “… The last comment also felt like a dig at my mental health.” The woman had also shared in her post that she’s “struggled to accept how I look due to severe depression” and that wearing the nose ring had boosted her self-esteem.
When she got home, she informed her boyfriend about what happened, which prompted him to call his sister, who “tried to play the whole thing off as a joke” and did not apologize. Sally’s behavior made the woman decide that she “no longer” wanted to invite her over for Christmas.
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“[Alex] texted saying [Sally] is no longer welcome if she is just going to be like that and s*** went through the roof. She has thrown a colossal temper tantrum saying we are targeting and excluding her yet she hasn’t once offered an apology,” the woman explained.
“I told my in-laws about it and they seem to think I should be the bigger person and say I probably took the comments the wrong way (I didn’t.). They say I’m causing unnecessary drama and that Christmas is for family,” she added.
She also noted that her family was on her side and told her, “What’s the point in inviting someone over who can cruelly mock my appearance and try to pass it off as a joke.” She then opened up the forum to comments.
Several people online sided with the 26-year-old woman, with one person noting that she can invite who she wants for Christmas dinner as her “home should be a safe place.” Another added, “Her behavior wasn’t just ‘sarcasm’; it was mean-spirited and showed a lack of respect for you in your own home.”
Another person said, “You’re absolutely right to set boundaries, especially when someone is being unnecessarily cruel and dismissive.”
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