A woman is torn over her decision to elope after her sister expressed that she is upset by the plan and how closely it may end up coinciding with her planned wedding day.
On March 9, the woman explained the situation on the UK-based forum Mumsnet, revealing that she and her sister live in two different countries. She said her sister is having a large wedding later this year, while she and her partner of 15 years have been discussing plans to elope after previously postponing tying the knot until after the birth of their child.
The woman said she’s “very close” to her sister despite living miles apart and “mostly out of excitement,” recently decided to tell her about the possibility of eloping.
“Her response was the complete opposite of what I was expecting,” the woman said of her sister. “She was really upset and asked us not to do it and to wait until after they get married later in the year, to ‘let them have their day.’ ”
“There is about 2 months between our trip and their wedding,” the Mumsnet user continued. “She also mentioned she was upset that we announced our pregnancy to family the same week her daughter was born and so now feels I’m just trying to overshadow them again.”
The woman said she was aware that the baby announcement timing “wasn’t great,” but at the time she felt like she had to share it with her immediate family as her parents were about to go on vacation.
She further claimed that her sister hadn’t mentioned feeling upset about the baby situation until she brought up her marriage plans.
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Defending her decision to elope, she continued, “We’ve already booked and paid for this trip – which to be honest we’d be doing anyway, and are hoping to try for another baby after her wedding.
“I’m mid 30s, so time is not my friend! I’ve spoken to my partner and he thinks it’s absolutely nothing to do with anyone else (this is part of the reason we’ve never done a big wedding – geography being another!),” she said.
“Neither of us are big on social media and have no plans for a big wide announcement of our nuptials to ‘one up’ my sister or anything,” she added, before asking opinions, saying, “I’m really struggling with this – hoping for helpful advice on how to navigate.”
Thousands of people responded to the post with the majority of people advising the woman to elope without telling anyone to avoid causing further upset.
“I think you should do exactly as you had planned. Your sister is being very immature; she has no right [to] first dibs at life events! How attention seeking,” a commenter argued.
“Seeing as you are now aware that your sister is upset at your timing, I’d elope as planned but avoid making any announcements until well after her wedding. That way you both get your big days in the way you wish,” another said.
However, others questioned why the woman had decided to elope so close to her sister’s wedding despite having been with her partner for 15 years.
“You’re either terrible with your timing or deliberately a bit of a thunder stealer. Only you know the truth,” one person said.
“My friend’s sister exactly did this to her, it 100% felt to me like she was stealing her thunder!” another commented. “It was nearly 20 years ago and I still remember her telling me and how upset she was! You’ve been together 15 years, why get married literally two months before her 🤔 sorry but it will come across as a d—- move.”
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