NEED TO KNOW
- A Reddit user who recently called his older sibling a “loser” is rethinking the way he handled trying to motivate him
- He had told his brother “that he has nothing going for him”
- “Shame is a terrible motivator,” a fellow Reddit user replied
An older sibling is driving his younger brother up the wall.
The 19-year-old boy explained on Reddit’s “Am I the A——” forum that he recently called his 21-year-old brother a “loser” to his face — but now the younger sibling is questioning if he was “too harsh” with his critique.
“He doesn’t work out, barely studies, doesn’t seem to have goals, and spends most of his day sitting in the same spot playing a football video game while watching YouTube,” he wrote of his older brother.
“He doesn’t drive well. We’re both taking driving lessons, and he still struggles with basic turns after a week, and doesn’t seem interested in changing anything,” he added, before detailing the tipping point.
After a “ frustrating driving session,” the teenager called his brother a “loser.”
“I told him that he has nothing going for him. I said it bluntly, hoping it would be a wake-up call and motivate him to at least work on something — anything,” he recalled. “Instead, he got really angry and went straight to our mom and started ranting.”
The mom then “yelled” at the teen. “She told me I was being incredibly mean and unhelpful,” he said. “I honestly thought a dose of reality might help him snap out of it, but maybe it was the wrong approach.”
Rethinking the way he handled trying to motivate his brother, the younger sibling asked the Reddit forum for their outside opinions.
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“You said that out of frustration and anger, not to help him in anyway,” one person replied. “Stop lying to yourself and trying to justify your actions.”
Another reader simply asserted, “Shame is a terrible motivator.”
A third Reddit user suggested a solution, writing “Help needs to come from a place of compassion. You need to apologize and make it clear you are worried about him, and break down why his present course worries you.”
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